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Hidden Away In My Room
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Hidden Away In My Room |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Hey guys i wrote this for english class..we had to follow a format of another poem and put in our own personal feelings and stuff...so here it is i hope you like it...its nothing like i usually write so its a nice change i think  There are secrets hiding in my room With the stories of my past Stories and tears kept away in walls On Soft whispers Stories of happiness and mourning Tears and giggles vibrate the walls Drops of Tears There are memories hidden in my room Poems and Diaries The laughter of friends There are pictures in my room There is a little girl in my room There is darkness in my room There are a thousand flashbacks hidden in my mind There is deceit in my secrets There are a million sobs vibrating my ceiling All kept away in my walls There are cold nights in my room There is heartbreak There is the excitement of new love There is the innocence of puppies in my room There are echoes and screams And wishes never to come true There are tomorrows and yesterdays And an old blanket for safety in my room There are cries for help There is no compassion There is a tired and lost little girl in my room A girl who has been through too much for her age There are secrets hidden in my room With stories of my past Stories and tears kept away in walls On soft whispers |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michele - All Rights Reserved | |||
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
This is a nice change. i like this one. The style was cool. It had alot of repetition. Great job Jon |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Ooo this is really good! Walls often do hide things and you've described the walls and what they do hold well. "There are pictures in my room There is a little girl in my room There is darkness in my room" I liked the way you went from it being light with photos to dark with actual darkness. It's a simple progression that actually does a lot for the piece in three lines. You've written a killer piece. It's going to the library. Hey, would you be able to tell me what the original poem was pretty please? I'd love to know. ~AF~ "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Really good, I've never written so good, at least not for english anyway! I read your web page also, I must say both that and this poem are like echos of my own thoughts. I sense you are like me and tend to kling to things for too long... Well anyway (It was getting too deep for my currend mood), this poem is going in my library, and yea, what WAS the other poem? 'Rich Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually). |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Whoops, forgot to clich "add thread to library". Thats what this is for. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thanks everyone for your replies!!! The name of the poem is called 'Hidden Places' but im not shur of the author...i'll have to check on monday when i go back to school but its a very interesting poem. Im glad you all enjoyed it thanks again! |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
Wow! I really liked this poem! "There is a tired and lost little girl in my room A girl who has been through too much for her age There are secrets hidden in my room With stories of my past Stories and tears kept away in walls On soft whispers" I liked that part the best...I can relate to it. ~Jess |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
wowsers! i don't give up without a fight so boys beware! |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Great poem like always and I like it even more because it's different from your usual style.But anyway keep up the awsome work! Lauren |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
There are a million sobs vibrating my ceiling All kept away in my walls wow this is awesome michel!! i loved the read heaps! very cool write i have to say... - I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
your imagery and wording was truly awesome...VERY nice change indeed...enjoyed it greatly! if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thanks everyone for your replies!!!! |
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