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a.k.a.maLa
Junior Member

since 2001-06-08

Posts 15
Florida, USA

0 posted 2001-08-31 08:32 PM

Emotionally malnourished
Crumbled and destroyed
Instantly altered and tempted
By sweet visions of insanity
Contradicting my hope
With all of my constant fear
All of my dimensions undulate
And shatter as they scatter
Thoughout the dust of falsehood
Trite touch and mediocre words
Camouflage my own heart's desire
My visage is selfish and cold
Insecurities so shameless and bold
That I can hardly breathe
I'm choked by my own cliches
These insecurities stain me
I'm branded by envy
Caught in a world of
He-says-she-says-she-has-he-has-I-want
I don't mean to say those things
The product of weakness
Uncontrollable urge to suppress
And I'll say
Don't be sad for me
Love, don't hate me

SunShine913

Member

since 2001-08-19

Posts 211
Italy but from NC

1 posted 2001-08-31 09:10 PM

hmmmm very ummm good.. hehe naw i really liked this .. like i say Keep writing and i will keep reading

!~Andrea~!
*You only live once, so live it to the
fullest*
*what is love?*

Delirious_Smurf
Member

since 2001-08-08

Posts 90
Nothingness,P.R.

2 posted 2001-08-31 10:24 PM

I liked that alot

Specially liked this:
"Contradicting my hope
With all of my constant fear
All of my dimensions undulate
And shatter as they scatter
Thoughout the dust of falsehood
Trite touch and mediocre words
Camouflage my own heart's desire"

I found that awesome... bravo!

Who you are and who you will be is right in the palm of your hand.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-09-01 03:23 AM

I really liked the poem, but found the last two lines to be weaker than what i originally expected the title to be. The whole poem is written awesome and then the ending is just kinda like "blah". Anyhow, that's just an opinion.
I did liked this a lot. Well done here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

4 posted 2001-09-02 01:35 AM

Ya, I agree with Javier *Twilight Zone music plays* HaHa...
The ending wasn't what it could be...Still though, a very incredible write here none-the-less...and I hope to see more soon!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

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