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SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

0 posted 2001-06-03 08:52 PM

Maybe I just wanted to explain to you the rain,
or the patches crawling afterwards.
They distance themselves like lovers lost.
Sun soaking comfort from puddles, staining gray,
leaving shriveled layers in asphalt, warming.

I could’ve slept through drowning, then reversing.
I’m patches now decreasing.
Sometimes rubber promises to return -
when it knows that it won’t ever.
And I learned that lines in skin where forcing,
for words and asking, for turmoil exposed.

I’ll drink the sounds of pipes, now pouring.
Solemn and definite. Crying out to skies,
all twisted and rupturing, wildly.
Washing heat from blackness paved and waiting.
Coating life again with love,...and maybes. Fragile.

Watersign6
Senior Member

since 2001-05-25

Posts 823
Hurricane,WV

1 posted 2001-06-03 08:53 PM

this is deep to me an a good read,thanks

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

2 posted 2001-06-03 09:25 PM

Hi you, very interesting write, as always. You make me see things in your original way. Peace
S

Mr»ÄlleÿÇät
Member

since 2001-06-02

Posts 190

3 posted 2001-06-03 09:46 PM

Thank you for a very good read

Love has it's ways of giving hope where none were thought to be.
Mr»ÄlleÿÇät

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2001-06-03 10:03 PM

SpitFire~
You always find a way to grab me ...

'Maybe I just wanted to explain to you the rain,'

Yes, ... that did it.
Great opener, hon ... and you followed through with some poignant emotions.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-06-03 11:32 PM

Maybe I just wanted to explain to you the rain,
or the patches crawling afterwards.
They distance themselves like lovers lost.
Sun soaking comfort from puddles, staining gray,
leaving shriveled layers in asphalt, warming.

I could’ve slept through drowning, then reversing.
====================================

I’ll drink the sounds of pipes, now pouring.
Solemn and definite. Crying out to skies,
all twisted and rupturing, wildly.
Washing heat from blackness paved and waiting.
Coating life again with love,...and maybes. Fragile.
===============================

the imagery in that first verse alone is worth its weight in poetic gold....
and that last line..so layered and intense
damn...does it hurt to write from this deep.
(dont answer that) *smile*
very cool A ... yes...you are

I'm not right ... you're not wrong ...
Still I dont know ... what this love of ours is built upon.

Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

6 posted 2001-06-04 12:34 PM

I don't think I have read any of your work but this is truly outstanding. I enjoyed it!Cool pic!

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

7 posted 2001-06-04 03:22 AM

Your work is always something special, love it! Take care!!

"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our
feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." ~unknown

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

8 posted 2001-06-04 04:55 AM

This is very good writing!

                "I’ll drink the sounds of pipes, now pouring.
                 Solemn and definite. Crying out to skies,
                 all twisted and rupturing, wildly.
                 Washing heat from blackness paved and waiting.
                 Coating life again with love,...and maybes. Fragile."

Inspired verse!

Love
Junior Member

since 2001-06-04

Posts 15
All Places Always

9 posted 2001-06-04 05:14 AM

A moment
just a single moment
to close your eyes
breathe without pain
throw away rememberance

where they worthy
jobs and passions
people and pain
where they really worthy
of you

Love yourself
and walk away

breathing in tomorrows memories
you make now or
when you feel the time
is yours
breathe free anyway
your birthright
refill your dreams with Life

Love

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

10 posted 2001-06-04 01:48 PM

I could’ve slept through drowning, then reversing.
I’m patches now decreasing.
Sometimes rubber promises to return -
when it knows that it won’t ever.
And I learned that lines in skin where forcing,
for words and asking, for turmoil exposed.

Intense read, some excellent images but I have to say the second in particular jumped from the screen. enjoyed the reda alot. Peace.

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

11 posted 2001-06-04 05:53 PM

Maybe I just wanted to explain to you the rain,
or the patches crawling afterwards.
They distance themselves like lovers lost.
Sun soaking comfort from puddles, staining gray,
leaving shriveled layers in asphalt, warming.

Spitfire, your imagery and style is outstanding, I was lost within your words.

Excellent as always, into my library it goes....

Maree

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