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Just A Man
Junior Member

since 2001-06-02

Posts 15
Pain

0 posted 2001-06-02 09:55 PM

The show is closing
no tickets remain
only the sweeping up
of bent and weary backs

He sits framed in two
dimensional props never
quite clear and gasps knowing
this closing is all too real

Clutches his side pain of
the simple physical kind
awakes and takes him journey
through times hopes past

clutching his chest so tightly
remembers giving love and more
all and every atom of what
he was before the silent screams

Tearing at his clothes the sweat
spews from acheing furrowed brow
still the bent and weary backs
maintain their pace unaltered

They have kept themselves alive such
he wonders half a moment at the void
he sees and compares it to that inside
which was better living as you are told

or dying in reach of the one thing he
holds dear he grimaces as his inside is
eaten away just pain he repeats is nothing
just pain of the physical side while

blood releases to warm first one leg then
another as he hobbles down a last look at the
stage this world he has lived each day for years
a smile tugs at him but the pain is too much

doubled over awash in his own red he gazes one
last time was the play him or he the play too late
he tumbles grasping falls to the pit where he is
swept away with yesterday by backs weary and bent

[This message has been edited by Just A Man (edited 06-02-2001).]

Logan
Senior Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 1641
Arkansas

1 posted 2001-06-02 10:19 PM

All the world is a play and we are the players..a very real and interesting concept of study..keep up the works

inot2B
Member Elite

since 2000-09-18

Posts 2205
Arkansas

2 posted 2001-06-02 10:20 PM

Welcome

I like the way this started and goes through the pain as it spreads through the past up to the end.
he tumbles grasping falls to the pit where he is
swept away with yesterday by backs weary and bent

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

3 posted 2001-06-02 10:26 PM

Welcome to the family!!! I look forward to reading more from you. Please check your email!

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

4 posted 2001-06-03 01:46 AM

This is just a heartfelt write...pain in every line....welcome to our world...may we take that pain away...even for a while

angelbear
Member

since 2001-05-22

Posts 139
North East, USA

5 posted 2001-06-03 01:52 AM

Just a Man who writes so well!!

Wonderful poem...welcome@

I can't control
my destiny
I trust my soul,
my only goal
is just to "be"
-Lyrics from RENT

deepblue
Junior Member

since 2001-05-31

Posts 17

6 posted 2001-06-03 02:03 AM

i really like the rythm of this poem

also the way the lines get slowly longer with each stanza, was this intentional?

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

7 posted 2001-06-03 11:24 AM

The curtain goes up on a new member of Passions' family.
Welcome.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

8 posted 2001-06-03 12:52 PM

Enjoyed reading the first of your works and looking forward to more!

*W*E*L*C*O*M*E* to passions!

~Tier

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

9 posted 2001-06-03 12:58 PM

Just A Man,

Welcome to Passions. You have written a very strong and philosophical poem here. A very good first post. Thank you for sharing it. I look forward to more.

LW

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2001-06-03 01:01 PM

Welcome to Passions! A most interesting read, will look for more to come! May your curtain always raise!

theLadypoet
Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 97
Or USA

11 posted 2001-06-03 01:10 PM

Just a Man,

(:-) ***Welcome***

Very interesting metaphor.
Hope to read much more from you.

theLadypoet

"A woman is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water..." Eleanor Rooevelt

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

12 posted 2001-06-04 02:55 PM

well I am not around enough to be considered a regular...but i can still throw out the welcome mat as good as any

welcome, and yes I enjoyed this piece

Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

13 posted 2001-06-04 03:01 PM

And, I say Just A Man with a lot of talent! A wonderful write here. Keep it up!

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Mr»ÄlleÿÇät
Member

since 2001-06-02

Posts 190

14 posted 2001-06-04 03:07 PM

What a lovely sad read, I liked the ending.'
Just another speck for the sanitizer. Well done.
Thank you
Mr»ÄlleÿÇät

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

15 posted 2001-06-04 08:33 PM

Welcome to Passions...such a moving tale.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

JamesBowie
Member

since 2000-11-25

Posts 252
big old Bangor Maine up by the shack

16 posted 2001-06-04 09:31 PM

It seems we have a poet of some meausure here, good breakthrough poem, It is often the hardest to do.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

17 posted 2001-06-04 10:59 PM

A very interesting poem..much enjoyed reading. Welcome to Passions!

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