»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #14
»
The Closed Door
| Open Poetry #14 |
|
The Closed Door |
|
|
Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
I closed the door, as I walked away Shut on thoughts I couldn’t say My shoulders bowed with the weight of pain Knowing we would not meet again My footsteps echoed down the walk As if in mockery of our talk The days of laughter turned to night Leaving only tears left to fight I knew I had to set you free Although wanting to keep for me Desperately I wanted to entrap Your heart to mine and never give back Straightening my shoulders, I looked ahead Knowing there was nothing, left to be said My head never turned to give a look back I didn’t want to chance I had left a crack The door had to stay closed, that I could see I opened my hand and dropped the key |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Logan - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Sometimes letting go is all one can do... no matter how hard it is! *sigh* Enjoyed reading! ~Tier |
||
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
gr8! The last line is superb and a fitting finale. Write on. Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I know the feeling of a closed door, it's very painful but writing helps. Kathleen Blake |
||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
How closely lives touch and mingle with one another. Beautiful, Sweet One.  You're doing wonderfully. |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A very intense and enjoyable read...James |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
So sad...I really enjoyed reading this. I wonder about this line: 'The door had to stay closed, that I could see' I think the comma and then the 'that' sounds a little bit awkward...otherwise, I think it reads very well!  KIt is to do with tree-ferns: |
||
|
Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Tier, thank you for your comment, and yes, you are correct..thank you for your read...gentle smile Interloper. I appreciate your words, thank you, I liked that last line too. Kinna puts the cap on the bottle as we say around here. Irish Rose..it does happen, doesn't it? Looking ahead helps also..gentle smile Ahhh, Temptress, gentle one, what have you gotten me into.LOL...gentle smile Thank you James for the kind words and for reading and commenting..I appreciate it Severn, thank you for the read and the comment, yes, I was uncomfortable with that line also, thank you for pointing it out to me, comes from being a fledging poet and not being able to fix it.. Thank all of you, again for your kindness to put a reply to this..gentle smile |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Bravo! Very nicely written Logan ... a lovely flow and rhyme scheme, much enjoyed! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Thank you Kit, for your kind words, they are appreciated..Glad you enjoyed the read...gentle smile |
||
|
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Yes, I liked your poem very much. I know about closing doors and it is hard to do. My closures have come through deaths, but even then it is hard to shut them tight. Joyce |
||
|
JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Logan---I enjoyed and related to this very much. Well done! |
||
|
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
A harder thing I canna imagine...softly closing the door...I love this line...I opened my hand and dropped the key....such finality... |
||
|
deepblue Junior Member
since 2001-05-31
Posts 17 |
well done, you are undeniably a poet |
||
|
Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Joyce, thank you for your words, and yes, at my age I know what you mean. The hardest of times...gentle smile JLR, I appreciate your read and your comments, thank you...gentle smile Paula, yes quite final that, but sometimes the only way to let someone you love go for their sake...thanks for reading and replying...gentle smile Deep, gentle smile, as long as you have known me? thank you for the read and welcome to the forum, glad you are here, you will enjoy it |
||
|
angelbear Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 139North East, USA |
Great last line is great I agree...I can relate to this poem and think many can. Let go, moving on, pain mingled so well with a sense of bitter freedom. Whole poem reads well.  I can't control |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
There is a good part of letting go, and that is that the memories of the "good stuff: stay with you. I liked this. |
||
|
Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
angelbear, thank you for your comments, letting go is part of our life, appreciate your read...gentle smile Mysteria, yes, you are right, the memories are the saving grace...Best to Maggie...gentle smile |
||
|
Watersign6 Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823Hurricane,WV |
i dont know how i missed this one Logan but am sure glad i found it to enjoy  |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Logan, this poem speaks to me, so much said here. Sandra |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Logan, I heard the clinking of that key hitting the pavement.... all the way over here.... this one...hurts.... |
||
|
Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Logan, I know this feeling, you've described it very well, so difficult to go on, hugs. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
