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Open Poetry #14
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walking water
| Open Poetry #14 |
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walking water |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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intellectually highlight darkness from the deep take a slave to master's keep and allow me to surrend. God's perfect gift Hell-fired chilled in ashen sift backward river running swift-- miles of Nile, ASCEND. rush of waves and current's foam... LISTEN---water's crash on rock rapid life without a dock fighting waves with paddle's push a waterfall awaits in crush foaming waters fill my boat frothing hands about my throat adrenals beating in my mind of all that I have left behind-- my only wish to stay afloat, beating rapids of your moat. Rapids now be turned to fill of but a pond in sweet demise ripples, yearning in disguise... every circle, wider grows hyacinth, transformed to ROSE... Love of you can't be this sweet the feel of water under feet as I walk the water's ledge beneath my toes my faith is pledged exhaled is you walking water's trial of truth. |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Take my will-- God's perfect gift Hell-fired chilled in ashen sift backward river running swift-- miles of Nile, ASCEND. LISTEN---to a current's flow, rush of waves and current's foam... LISTEN---water's crash on rock rapid life without a dock fighting waves with paddle's push a waterfall awaits in crush foaming waters fill my boat frothing hands about my throat adrenals beating in my mind of all that I have left behind-- my only wish to stay afloat, beating rapids of your moat. LISTEN---waters, I will, still! Rapids now be turned to fill of but a pond in sweet demise ripples, yearning in disguise... every circle, wider grows hyacinth, transformed to ROSE... Love of you can't be this sweet the feel of water under feet as I walk the water's ledge beneath my toes my faith is pledged Every breath exhaled is you walking water's trial of truth. ============================ gaawwwd I love the way your mind works... SEN!!! THIS IS SOOOO COOOOOOL!!!!!! Take my will-- God's perfect gift Hell-fired chilled in ashen sift backward river running swift-- miles of Nile, ASCEND. OH MAN...where do you get this kind of inspire... the imagery in this poem is awesome and then we will talk about the rhyme divine... (vials baby....send those vials)  amazing write KA  meIm searchin for my warrior |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Wow! Celeste this is great writing!..... "LISTEN---waters, I will, still! Rapids now be turned to fill of but a pond in sweet demise ripples, yearning in disguise... every circle, wider grows hyacinth, transformed to ROSE... Love of you can't be this sweet the feel of water under feet as I walk the water's ledge beneath my toes my faith is pledged" You sure got the old muse working this morning. The above is just an example....I love it all but that verse sticks with me the most! Have a nice day! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
LISTEN---waters, I will, still! Rapids now be turned to fill of but a pond in sweet demise ripples, yearning in disguise... every circle, wider grows hyacinth, transformed to ROSE... Love of you can't be this sweet the feel of water under feet as I walk the water's ledge beneath my toes my faith is pledged Every breath exhaled is you walking water's trial of truth. We are listening to every word. beautifully written. Your muse is in full flight "difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
You keep getting better mam, I love this...now, my one small crit...I don't really like the capitalised words..I think there would still be just as much effect if they weren't - or maybe have them italicised? What do you think hon?  KIt is to do with tree-ferns: mamuka, pongo, wheki. Shelter under here is so easily understood. From 'Hope', by Dinah Hawkins [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-02-2001).] |
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Watersign6 Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823Hurricane,WV |
a truely lovely read,i will have to read it again  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oops...forgot one again...Thanks dear poet people and K? I agree with you here. Need to learn the fancy stuff. Thanks! |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Ahh, you are forging back with a BANG, wonderful write, so very good with all. Felt right there...gentle smile |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Now this is weird.... posted one written by a friend from a couple years agao..and though very different look at the elements that are the same... always enjoy reading you... and this is no exception... no.. not at all |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
LISTEN---waters, I will, still! Rapids now be turned to fill of but a pond in sweet demise ripples, yearning in disguise... every circle, wider grows hyacinth, transformed to ROSE... Love of you can't be this sweet the feel of water under feet as I walk the water's ledge beneath my toes my faith is pledged Every breath exhaled is you walking water's trial of truth. --------------- I can't beleive I missed this me Sista. You are incredible ya know that? I love the way you think and then so beautifully transfer it to paper er screen. hugs Maree "little miss understood |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
I am listening between my ears what my eyes see ... a wonderful work |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
enjoyed muchly... very well written. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
I knew that you and Jesus had a few things in common..no seriously this poem brings to mind all sorts of images, of cleansing searching and finding, of listening to voices from a past era, walking with them. Wonderfully written, enjoyed this one alot. "Like Sand underneath the snow, I make you mine." Kristin Hersh |
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