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Open Poetry #14
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Stay here with me
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Stay here with me |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Stay here with me I have about an hour until the saints come stumbling in drunk with righteousness and liquor the night’s reality begins will you stay here with me I’m more than a bit ashamed to admit my fateful flaw I’m afraid to be alone wait I think they’re early sshhh…they’re home |
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| © Copyright 2001 JLR - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Hello there. I've read this piece several times and really like it. I really like the images of the drunken saints and the idea of the fateful flaw (I think it's kind of ironic how similar fateful and fatal sound). There are a few comments/suggestions that I might make, but given that this is the open forum, I'll keep them with me for now. Let me know (or post this in CA, where I'm more likely to read), and I will find some time to give a better reply. Thanks for posting this (and for your reply to my poem). I enjoyed it. Ryan "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac |
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Watersign6 Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823Hurricane,WV |
stunning poem i enjoyed this very much,thanks  |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*grin* actually it had me giggling watching them stagger through the door. I enjoyed reading this very much. {{{BIG HUGS}}}Much love to you from me. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
this really is a fun poem LOL  I think I've been there sometimes. Thanks, Titia Visit Titia's Place sometimes and feel free to use the pictures inside. |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
JLR- I understand this one and enjoyed it too! |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Enjoyed this poem, JLR... ~Tier |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I enjoyed reading this. Just to catch those saints a-stumbling-in would be worth staying up all night. Actually, I think I remember stumbling in with them a couple of times in my past. Midnitesun, Kacy |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy |
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ParisGrl Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610 |
R.J. Images are running through my mind right now. ;-) wow.....i loved this one. ttys, Laura |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
home where? and are they welcome? ah yes, the questions. . . great job. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
you have quite the imagination don't you Kathleen Blake |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
I like this one very much I also like the "Tired, Hungry, Lonely one you wrote also I am in the search area right now ... You are very good..... Thanks Connie |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I like this...although having lived it from both perspectives, can't say it's always amusing. Most times it's just damned annoying. Take it from a New Orleans, native--nothing worse than a bunch of drunken saints...  |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Interesting piece here. Not sure I completely get it tho. Who are you referring to? Jenn "If my heart had wings, I would fly to you and lie.. beside you as you dream, if my heart had wings." Faith Hill |
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