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Open Poetry #14
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Sleep Rode Into Day
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Sleep Rode Into Day |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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Our wrinkled breath - linger dancing, wrapping lifetimes around tree trunks, molesting barks and moss with age, with wisdom useless now and clinging. And painters were bleeding battles on easels while weak were fed sunlight inside, twisting what days and chaos had thrown. And rising waters were again winning as music (stupid) played life right into a movie. Slow and pathetically false. We were giggling with ammunition and speed, on highways forbidden from people of our age. The wind only tangling the hairs remaining, the strands we’d allowed to curl and whip in delirious tides of us. Stranger’s wails absurd, and silent - draining. Their mouths stretching space between my ears, and colors washing hopelessness with wild, forming. Fluorescent and springing - dangerously vivid and alive in spite of death. We had scrambled for trinkets, hidden in fairness, and gathered dancers and mothers and sealife to bed. We were calling for fire and reaching, while whispers fell parallel and sleep rode into day - rain soaked and weeping still. |
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| © Copyright 2001 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
WOW! I'm speechless! um the imagery is fantastic and your choice of words excellent. This poem had me hooked, my eyes glued to every word. Absolutely love it! into my library it goes Keeping an eye out for you, closely! Maree  |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
hehe too excited forgot to add to my library, oops |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I want to see the world through your eyes SpitFire. . . just for one day. . . excellent. . . ------------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Our wrinkled breath - linger dancing, wrapping lifetimes around tree trunks, molesting barks and moss with age, with wisdom useless now and clinging. And painters were bleeding battles on easels while weak were fed sunlight inside, twisting what days and chaos had thrown. Slow and pathetically false. We were giggling with ammunition and speed, on highways forbidden from people of our age. in delirious tides of us. Stranger’s wails absurd, and silent - draining. Their mouths stretching space between my ears, ======================== We were calling for fire and reaching, while whispers fell parallel and sleep rode into day - rain soaked and weeping still. ====================== I've completely run out of adjectives to describe and define your work... the imagery in that first verse alone made me come undone... as does your employ of metaphor... once again you kick my poetic butt  (hows that for imagery and metaphor) LOL very cool write A,  meI'm hanging on your every word |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Yes, I agree with all previous comments. Awesome, as always. You rock! Sandra |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
What can I say, when nothing I say...will do justice to what you've written? |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SpitFire~ This is just SO good ! You take us on a thrilling journey ! I was white-knuckled at every turn ! Wonderful, gal ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Watersign6 Senior Member
since 2001-05-25
Posts 823Hurricane,WV |
well i agree with what everyone else has already said an then some cuz it left me speechless as well an my words could not do justice to how amazing this one is |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Oh my gosh.......this is a masterpiece of visions and emotions. The power in your pen leaves me in awe of your talent. BRAVO!!!!{{{BIG HUGS}}}Much love to you from me. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
you almost made me cry so beautiful your words remind me of a dear friend, thank you for your words Kindly, |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Oh I feel like such a booger. How long has it taken me to thank each of you for your responses? - Please know that I appreciate your thoughts and reading and comments. I only wish that you could know,...how much I thank you. - I'm sUper tired and apologize for not being more personal here. Night everyone. *Peace. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
We were giggling with ammunition and speed, on highways forbidden from people of our age. PHEW I should invest in a porch, as always your thoughts blow me away. Even when sleep has its hold your mind is still soaring high. by the way I enjoyed this one in case you were wondering. Peace. "you are what you own in this land, you can be king and it all depends on the view and what you can see" Whipping boy |
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