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Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2001-05-19 09:30 PM

The party guests
      delighted
In cheese puffs
and spinach dip

Laughter echoed round the room

So no one saw her slip
       into the room,
             darkened

Coats lay upon the bed
       she sat there
                   on the edge

her hands holding up her head

Silent screams of
       anger

Squeezed tears of her
       dismay

Still no one knew that she
       had just

               slipped away

At the stroke of twelve
she rose
and
left the room
walked
past the partygoers
and into
       the midnight
                 gloom

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-05-19 09:32 PM

wow...this just aches so completely.....excellent, and I do hope not a personal reflection

SEA

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

2 posted 2001-05-19 09:34 PM

she needs to turn around. . . because someone has seen her. . .

this is from the soul deVine. . .

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-05-19 09:36 PM

you define the feeling of "lonely in a crowded room"
well done employ of imagery dressed emotions PDV.

tis never easy being a moth,
tis not easy being the flame.
what some never see is--
sometimes ... most times ...
they are one in the same.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

4 posted 2001-05-19 09:47 PM

Oh wow, I know that feeling so well of being alone in a crowded room, been there so many times in the past. You described it so completely, so beautifully.

Thank you for given me a chance to read it.

Titia

thepoeticplumber
Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 185

5 posted 2001-05-19 09:48 PM

I could so feel for the lonely creature you depicted. It is sad that there are people like this with so many in view. Great writing job. Roger TPP

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

6 posted 2001-05-19 09:56 PM

Thank you all....yes...right now, this is me......I'm glad to know there are others who feel this way too.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2001-05-19 10:00 PM

it's in the being there that we've done that....

and some of us remember well...

kudos, lady....

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

8 posted 2001-05-20 02:27 AM

Hang in there PdV...I've been there too...actually, I've been feeling kinda "outsidish" lately. It'll pass.*S*

Mike

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

9 posted 2001-05-20 02:34 AM

Boy do I know this one, sorry to say. You did a wonderful job of the ache of lonliness.

~*~ I write ~ Therefore I am ~*~
Homepage: http://www.mysteria-poetry.cityslide.com/contents/contents.cfm/451673

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

10 posted 2001-05-20 08:41 AM

If what's on the inside could venture to the outside... everyone would notice - and admire...

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

11 posted 2001-05-20 08:45 AM

Clinging to every word
Feeling the pain
This is so well written
Liz

Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

12 posted 2001-05-20 11:01 AM

This is so sad. I too have felt like this. It is not a good feeling but it will pass. Great job writing. I could feel you pain and sadness

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

13 posted 2001-05-20 08:22 PM

In this I feel the sadness and the longing for someone to just realize. Excellent writing, Sharon. I always say if I can feel something in the words that the poet has done wonders.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

14 posted 2001-05-20 08:59 PM

This is so well done. The invisible person. I have often felt this way in a new setting. I cannot imagine that you will be overlooked for long. This touched me. Joyce

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

15 posted 2001-05-20 10:18 PM

Yep, I've been outsidish too...I can relate to the pain in this one well. Sometime's the pain is worse when you're surrounded by people and feel alone than when you're actually alone...incredible poetry, deVine one.

*Krista Knutson*

"We can all become what we aspire to be
If Heaven's here on Earth..." ~Tracy Chapman

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

16 posted 2001-05-20 11:01 PM

Thank you all for liking this...I do appreciate it.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

17 posted 2001-05-21 05:59 AM

Excellent writing, O deVine One...

Regards,
Sudhir

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

18 posted 2001-05-21 07:45 AM

Wow..

blimey

it's like...freeverse! Although I caught the rhymes lol..

seriously Sharon - this is great...loved it.

K

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

19 posted 2001-05-22 03:20 PM

How well I relate. *S* This is outstanding, PDV... the form is perfect for the subject. Kudos and hugs, dear lady!!

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

20 posted 2001-05-22 03:27 PM

I have done this, anything to avoid a crowd! I enjoyed this.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Morgoth
Junior Member

since 2001-05-21

Posts 26
Baltimore, MD

21 posted 2001-05-22 05:04 PM

Oh, very poignant piece. So sad, but true. A very true to life picture you painted.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

22 posted 2001-05-22 05:49 PM

I could walk into the midnight gloom every night...and never be noticed nor missed..

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

DYME
Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 104
Texas

23 posted 2001-05-23 03:32 PM

I LIKED IT. IT WAS NICE.

NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER... ISAIAH 54:17

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

24 posted 2001-05-23 04:44 PM

Excellent writing...sorry the world seems so dark for you at this moment...James

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

25 posted 2001-05-23 04:48 PM

It's amazing how a talented poet can take such a simple assortment of phrases and fashion them into something so profound; nothing about this piece is complicated, and yet it speaks volumes in emotion ...

Though I appreciate this from a poetic standpoint, I sincerely hope that the dark Muse who bled this from you takes her leave sooner rather than later ... hugs hun

Linda

helen smith
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 240

26 posted 2001-05-23 04:55 PM

I wanted to say it's those cheesy puffs ...give me a migraine every time, ...but the topic is toooo sensitive ...fabulous poetry

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

27 posted 2001-05-23 07:27 PM

Thank you all for your kind remarks. I do appreciate them...and Helen..I can take a joke any time!

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

28 posted 2001-05-23 07:38 PM

I think this is one of your best ever Sharon,, and that takes some doing. This one definitely goes in the library.

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

29 posted 2004-05-21 01:45 PM

loved ths one!

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