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Open Poetry #14
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So Hard to Say
| Open Poetry #14 |
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So Hard to Say |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
There's so much to be said, But it's so hard to say... I want to tell you everything, As I'm searching for The Way... It's understood I love you, Though it's never been returned... Held captive by your fire As my dreams were being burned I worshipped you with such a faith -- Religion can't compare Adoring you with every thought Through a love you would not share. Of course it hurts -- this pain within: Like none I've ever felt; It's hard not to be bitter With the hand that Fate has dealt. But, I hold no grudge against you -- I couldn't if I tried My love remains yours always, Despite my hopes that died. I placed you on a pedestal For everyone to see Regardless of the hurt inside, That's where you'll always be. The shiny seal of silver You wrapped around my wrist As yet remains unbroken To prove that you'll be missed. Your memory will haunt me, Until the day I die... I'll think of you with every purple Flower I pass by... And when I hear your favorite songs On the radio, My heart will be sent back in time, Though only I will know. I'll pass familiar places And reminisce alone, Recalling situations That in my mind will drone. I'll never understand, No matter how I try, The reason for your giving up Or never saying goodbye. I killed my pride so many times, For you were always first -- I loved you when you were your best; I loved you at your worst With every pain that you had felt, I empathized with you I shared your grief, though you forgot That I have feelings too. How could you simply vanish Without even a call? I'm left confused and shattered -- No word from you at all... With choking disappointment, I continue with my life While hoping you'll be happy As someone else's wife. And may that special someone Be all your dreams fulfilled And love you even half as much As I forver will. Although we both believe in God, I have to ask Him why My prayers were all but ignored, Or was this His reply? Is there some profound meaning That I can't comprehend? In having been abandoned By you, my dearest friend? How proud I was to work with you -- The highlight of my day -- But fire burned it to the ground; Its ashes, blown away... What were you so afraid of? Or did fear play a role? To tell me in my face, the way You felt inside your soul... I could not be offended To hear the Truth from you; I'd just respect you that much more For acknowledging what's true. And even as I write these words Of tragic sentiment, I can't stop thinking of the waste -- Of time and effort spent. We came so close that I could taste The dreams I thought we shared To get this far and lose it all... How could I be prepared? In any case, what's done is done; Yet like I said before: I hold nothing against you -- My best wishes are still yours. I'll miss your singing, as will the world That never got to hear Your God-given talent -- thrown away For reasons still unclear... I'll miss the times you seemed to care, Preparing me a meal And time will be my medicine To help my heart to heal. I wonder if you'll ever listen To my songs again... Or read the poem on your wall -- My love inscribed by pen... And when you look at our picture, Remember what you see: A dream that should and would have been But now will never be. It's not that I'm resentful; But rather, just amazed How everything seemed peaceful -- And then a fire blazed Spontaneously combusting What I thought could never burn I place the remnant ashes Into a mental urn. Yet Nature's shown through forest fires -- A new re-birth takes place Perhaps the same holds to be true For us in our case... Regardless of the outcome, I need to thank you for The inspiration that you gave: You opened wide my door... I only wish I could have had The same effect on you... But wishing is a waste of time -- I've learned the hard way too... My subtle hopes that you might call Have disappeared from sight. It hurts me now, although I know, With time, I'll be alright... I guess you'll never realize How much you meant to me... But should you ever wonder, Consider carefully -- The poems, cards, and songs I wrote With only you in mind -- More honest words of caring love Again you'll never find. And think of me if you should wear The hearts I gave to you -- Especially the silver one, Because it breaks in two. Another chapter in my life Has come to an end And I wonder, should we meet again Will you still act like a friend? May you find true love and happiness And health as you go your way... Just remember me and the honesty Of these words -- so hard to say... (Copyright 1993 by: MARK V SHELDON) "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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| © Copyright 2001 Mark V Sheldon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
is this a true account? if so, has anyone seen her? if not, could there have been foul play? this is expressed in excellent flowing rhythm and rhyme and filled with a vivid story, it's very well done! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Mark, When, an excellent write but I think it could have been said in less words. You write very well. |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Great poem! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
filled with feelings.... and well presented... You write well. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh Mark, this is such a sad story. I'm sorry if you had to endure this, you certainly write about it well though. I know the feeling of the rug being ripped from under you when you thought it was stable. Peace Sandra |
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WhiteDragon Member
since 2001-07-07
Posts 70O-town, Fl |
Wow...:'( That was amazing, one of the best i've read...It just kept going on with the pain and sadness. If it makes you feel better, it's a great poem. God Bless, Jeremy |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
It's understood I love you, Though it's never been returned... Held captive by your fire As my dreams were being burned I worshipped you with such a faith -- Religion can't compare Adoring you with every thought ====================================== But, I hold no grudge against you -- I couldn't if I tried My love remains yours always, Despite my hopes that died. I placed you on a pedestal For everyone to see Regardless of the hurt inside, That's where you'll always be. ========================================= Regardless of the outcome, I need to thank you for The inspiration that you gave: You opened wide my door... ======================================= Talk about a purge...wow... this is like a "moth anthem"....flying into the flame... I saw quite a few mirror reflections in this one....... intense and personal release here Mark... I like the way you ended it with the same lines as you opened it... learning to let go with out being bitter and even in the hurt hold on to the things in the relationship that allowed us to grow is one of the hearts hardest lessons... sincere express here...Im sure at the time this was indeed hard to say... but much needed in order to move on and heal. well done poet sir jm Feels like Im dancing with truth and wisdom |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
VAS: I wish it were fiction. No foul play -- just a chapter to a complicated story. Thanks for your reply. Sy: thanks for the comments. Agreed -- it could have been summed up in one word: "goodbye." (But I felt a little better after this catharsis...). Thanks, Walker... there's always something good in everything if we choose to acknowledge it... Ron, thank you... it was the best presentation with which I could come up, at the time, and emotions is what this poem was all about, at least at the outermost layer. Thank you, Sandra. Just a gripping scene in my life's movie... No regrets, though -- just serenity. Jeremy -- thanks for your comments. Definitely my longest poem, to date, but also one of the most inspired. Thank you for the detailed reply, JM. Indeed an "anthem"... never thought of it in terms of a moth into a flame -- very apropos. Not just a purge but a deluge of feelings, thoughts, and memories... Some of the most difficult words I've ever written, but also a powerful medicine. -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Mark, This is a masterpiece of emotions and pain. I can't even begin to say in mere words of how this touched me. You portrayed such depth and outpouring of the longings in your heart. I hope your heart will sustain all the compassion and beauty that was felt for this Princess that chose another path. There will be another that will share the same road with you, and I wish for you all the happiness that you deserve... Elise |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
A great release...many verses stuck in my mind. I am sure there was something in this for every reader to identify with. ~Wynter |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Elise, thank you so much for your compassion and comments. Despite it all, I changed for the better and hope she did too. Thanks for reading. Wynter, I suppose identifying with anything is directly proportional to one's level of experience and inner constitution... by my posting this poem, hopefully readers will find some grain of insight or inspiration regarding emotions and the concepts of Honesty and Communication. Everyone has his or her own path to follow; hopefully, they will take a little extra effort to contribute to something positive along the way... Thanks for reading and replying. -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." "Everyone can hear; few can listen." [This message has been edited by MARK V SHELDON (edited 07-10-2001).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
what a tremendous outpour! |
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