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Open Poetry #14
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Fallout
| Open Poetry #14 |
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Fallout |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
pardon me... there are stars or the dust of them in my eyes tonight... irritating you know... to have them water so. blurs my sight... and wets my cheek makes me look... very meek... Pardon me... for the dust of the stars I placed you among... seems to have fallen with you... |
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| © Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
This is powerful, Ron. A very creative way you've stated a condition of sadness and perhaps disappointment. Well done. -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Thanks Mark... I am still as of yet not satisfied with it...as I can't quite get the flow and feel to mesh the way I would like... |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
I find it very compelling, to look up.... not satisfied? Please, tell us when you are, and I shall come read again.... |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Beautiful, Ron, just beautiful  |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
I would be thrilled to write something so unsatisfying. LOL But I understand what you mean...hope it comes together for you. Enjoyed! |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
It was just right, just write. "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve" |
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Blaec Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 130The Sunshine State |
Sadly Wonderful! |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Very interesting write...I really liked it...great read... sp  it was love that first drew me, |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
fascinating read, a way to explain tears, I will say, too, let us know when you are satisfied...then I can maybe figure out why you are not right now |
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Waseem Cheema Member
since 2001-03-16
Posts 369Pakistan |
Enjoy to read it although a little bit sad.. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
almost like freefalling....enjoyed |
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WhiteDragon Member
since 2001-07-07
Posts 70O-town, Fl |
Wow, I loved it. If you change nothing, it would still be one of the best I've read. Jeremy |
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cpalmer Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977Phoenix, Az |
wow...brought tears to my eyes! Cindi God is our inspiration; Words of the heart can be music to our ears |
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