»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #14
»
Retrospect
| Open Poetry #14 |
|
Retrospect |
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
|
A cold blast of realization cuts straight through to bone And I'm filled with desperation that I will die alone. I gave you everything I am and all I hope to own And now I'm just companion to an ever-silent phone. If there is a heaven and if I have earned my part I'd never ask for more than resting my head on your heart, But giving you the essence of me really wasn't smart. If I had known the ending, I'd have lacked the nerve to start But I never once suspected how our story would unfold. I only knew that I would gladly give my very soul To heal the scars that paint your life, to make your spirit whole. Our journey met an abrupt end - I did not achieve my goal. A short while ago (a lifetime) in your love I basked, Now no one sees the tears that trickle down behind my mask. Getting over, going on, life: Impossible tasks! So if you ever want me back, I'm listening. Just ask. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I can relate...James |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ah... such fears and such listening... enjoyed the read.. nicely presented |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"I gave you everything I am and all I hope to own And now I'm just companion to an ever-silent phone." "If there is a heaven and if I have earned my part I'd never ask for more than resting my head on your heart," "A short while ago (a lifetime) in your love I basked, Now no one sees the tears that trickle down behind my mask." Oh my Suthern ... this is splendid! So many wonderful phrases captured within this beautiful heart-filled and emotive piece. Wonderful writing ... from rhyme and cadence to sentiments. I really loved this!  Best wishes, /Kit |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SweetSuthernGal~ This is a big ole tear-jerker ! ! Awwwwwwwwww ! Excellent flow - beautiful rhyme Like that matters, huh ?  How's about a Big Ole HUG ! ... Don't know 'bout you ... but I feel better !  Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I was wrong....(Im wrong a lot)... some poems simply cant be critiqued and nothing my mothy mind might say would do the heartbreaking emotions of this one justice. Its not often Im left without knowing what to say...let that be the compliment.. (not much comfort I know) hugs Ruthie |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
James Michael: I know you can... and for that, I'm sorry. *S* Thank you for reading! Cpat Hair: But I really should wear earplugs. *G* Thank you... I'm very glad you enjoyed! *S* Kit: Dear lady, your comments always offer life-giving refreshment to this shriveled self-esteem. *S* Thank you so much... your kindness is greatly appreciated! *S* Marge: Well, after reading some of your poems, I bought plenty of kleenex... I'll be glad to share! *S* Thank you for the compliments and the hug! *S* Janet Marie: Well... to critique one of mine would be a blood bath... and I'm dern sure not gonna spend my weekend cleaning up the mess! LOL. Your read is compliment enough, sweet lady... I thank you. *S* |
||
|
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
and those feelings will rise up often, but their length will shorten and their pain will lessen you have spoken your heart magnificently, suthern, absolutely |
||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Just ask" oh yes, I know exactly how this feels.....many hugs to you |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
*sigh* I know how this feels. . . this is an outpouring from your heart. . . -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Ruth, this is an excellent expression straight from the heart...I can feel the pain in this. Very well done! (((HUGS))) |
||
|
Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
This was so hauntingly sad but so very beautiful. Take care....Sue Suetang |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Suthern--You know how to write both the poetry and the heart...and you do both well. Hugs to you! |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
VAS: Thank you. *S* I know the pain will eventually less... as soon as I stop breathing. *S* SEA: I know you know. *S* So please accept my hugs in return. *S* Thank you for reading! Sven: A deluge, actually. *G* Thank you for your read and comments. *S* Denise: Thank you so very much... I always appreciate a "well done" from you! *S* Suetang: I'm glad you found beauty in my words. *S* Thank you! Martie: Your kind words and hugs are both greatly appreciated. *S* Thank you very much! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
