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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2001-07-06 09:14 AM

What is this viper
Which with venomous bite
Has so poisoned you?

I did not hear a hiss of warning
Nor did I see it strike
But I see now the withering
Of your heart.

Did this serpent crawl
From between the words
Or lay hidden in piles of memory
Waiting to damn you?

I too feel the numbness
And cold creep into me
As the hatred which now
Courses through veins,
Which once burned hot
With love, are now filled
With winter’s ice.

I fear these fangs
Have destroyed
Us.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-07-06 09:29 AM

this is amazing, the way you've described the felings as poison....it sure is like poison.....painful, unfair, rotten poison....I hope this isn't a personal reflection, and if it is, I'm really sorry

(((hugs)))

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

2 posted 2001-07-06 10:23 AM

a striking poem, this....

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-07-06 10:24 AM

Sea: Yes it is a poison... one that at times there is no anti_venom for. Glad you liked

Lady: Thank You

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

4 posted 2001-07-06 10:28 AM

You have, as usual, penned deep seated feelings in a uniquely understandable manner.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

5 posted 2001-07-06 10:33 AM

Interloper: Well simple is as simple does... to borrow a phrase..and I am pretty simple minded..so I have to try and take the things which are difficult and make em so I can understand them...

thanks for all your comments... they are appreciated

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

6 posted 2001-07-06 12:28 PM

I like the comparison of a snake bite to dying love..enjoyed..

and so true

~Victoria~

Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist once he grows up.

Pablo Picasso

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

7 posted 2001-07-06 12:57 PM

Thanks Victoria, it can be a slow death...

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

8 posted 2001-07-06 01:12 PM

oh the serpent is so slitheringly sly, sneaking in stealthily, it is too terribly easy not to see its sureptitious behavior

by the way, when you get a chance, I responded to your comment and Interloper's re. "Salt's Good Night"...bring a pillow, it got long

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

9 posted 2001-07-06 04:10 PM

The stark truth of this one gives me shivers... excellent metaphor. *S* Well done, Cpat!

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.

10 posted 2001-07-06 04:49 PM

What an image.......!! and strike down to the core.....
You have penned it so well my friend......

Thank you
***********************

It's only me.......only me
I hope that would suffice eternally

{{to cross a sea of wonder, and hold close at heart all dreams}}

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