»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #14
»
Dripping Faucet says Goodbye
| Open Poetry #14 |
|
Dripping Faucet says Goodbye |
|
|
Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief 
|
Sobriety slowly sets in dripping into The realm of reality like an old faucet dripping Into a rusty sink, just out of your range of hearing Yet just audible enough to be annoying. It doesn’t feel right. Lights are too bright, Sounds, well the sounds are too clear and defined. It is abnormal feeling to be here. To be without her. Friends are often made in strange places. She has shiny red hair, glowing like the sun, An eternal tribute to the heavenly northern lights. She once comforted me like no other, like a mother holding Her newborn child close to her beating breast. The water bubbled as I was lifted up by the foggy Smoke. An escape, vacation, in some prehistoric, Mystic swamp. A place where colorful creatures dance In fanciful patterns across the elaborately decorated horizon. But NOW, I have turned her away. I STAND NOW OWN MY OWN. yet I can’t get the sound of that damn Faucet out of my head. DRIP drip drip drip drip drip [This message has been edited by Effigy (edited 07-05-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
such a beautiful experience to have to be missing...yet at least you got to experience it and you've described it very well |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I liked this effigy. You have captured that maddening aftershock of thought that still goes on...and yes, it is like a dripping faucet, isn't it? and? since you encourage critique, I must say that I didn't understand your color choice, as red speaks anger to me and noise--I thought your poem would be better represented by a more subtle presentation, as a dripping faucet is subtly maddening. (pssst...also, shiny,not shinny, k?) But then, it's entirely possible that there was something I just "didn't get". But again, the poem, I thought was just grand, and one I could relate to very well!  |
||
|
Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
You know red maybe was not the best color choice. How about green? |
||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I really wish that it would stop. . . and I like the green. . . and I like the large print. . . makes it seem like it's a memory that just won't go away. . . great job. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
