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Open Poetry #14
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salt tips (I am all grown up now...YIP I am I am)
| Open Poetry #14 |
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salt tips (I am all grown up now...YIP I am I am) |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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I don't enjoy it, as much as I used to. All the fire is gone from my gut, Passion is now a cold word, saluting the flight from pubescence, gathering its wrinkles and stale dreams, one freshly baked for every year out of adolescence. Maybe I spread myself too thin butter stains my chin, mistaken for lactic sigh. And it just wouldn't wash clean, this fragrance never shifts, for father, he sowed down through generations, across cultures and sadly genders. Only I let slip Or did I simply quell its digits? No more weaning out on salt tips. Salvia soothes my thumb's slumber. "Like Sand underneath the snow, I make you mine." Kristin Hersh [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-04-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Just when I think I've been blown away by some excellent weaving, I read you... and am pretty much struck dumb. You have a talent....I wish you would share....more.... |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Brian, from cue tips to salt tips to memory lane trips. Pretty soon the only way we'll know you are young is through your writing! Excellently done! write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
yes, you are soooo old  don't worry, Brian, I still suck my thumb from time to time and I'm only 16! (yeah, right!) |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
wonderful... here's an intelligent, helpful comment my friend  ...I think you'd have more impact if you made the sentences a bit longer...just my op... good work Bri...  KI am a refugee of logic...insisting on unlikely land with every step. [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 07-04-2001).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Maybe I spread myself too thin butter stains my chin, mistaken for lactic sigh. And it just wouldn't wash clean, this fragrance never shifts, for father, he sowed down through generations, across cultures and sadly genders. Only I let slip Or did I simply quell its digits? ============================== WOW..does it hurt to go this deep? me thinks one could get the bends coming back up to fast.. damn Bri..what does one eat in the way of brain food to make ones mind work like this??? whatever it is...I aint ever tasted it LOL I guess its not raspberries very cool poem of self discovery. later Bri-gator eve We're all feeding our lonely like it might go away, |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
oh, this is so very exquisite...I'd love to show a copy of this to my friends...but then, they could probably not bear to read me again, they'd only beg for you the section that Janet Marie lifted it is the part that grabbed me and just will not let me go, what am I to do, I can't be you, and I wasn't created to be, so now, how do I get free from this and go back to whom I am and am to become prayer is surely the only way and a firm belief in what I say |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
a big WOW from me on this Brian...You have captured a rather reluctant melancholy here. Now I'm afraid of you all over again...sigh. Get well soon. Icq is down for now I'm afraid. Excellent penning on this tho. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Karilea, my muse and I are in negotiations at the moment, I think maybe I might have misused her in the past, so we are trying to work together. When we get it together I shall be writing more. THanks for your very kind comments, I am one who is dumb struck. Kethry, thanks for your very kind words. Kathleen, 16?? no I would have said 14 at most. We are as young as we feel right! K, I thought about it, and I always trust your instinct but I can't see this poem in any other format. I am sticking to it. Secretly I know you right. Thanks for the comments Jan, deep? there is the bad word again. NAH this ain't deep, it is easy, just write obscure images and use big words it's easy...lol It could be the irish air or the water. I will have to send u a sample of both. Thanks Virgina, sorry I can't accept that reply. nope, I have to disagree you are a very talented poet. no you are not me and I am not you but the nature of passions is to learn from each other. We are all on the same road of discovery, learning to improve our poetry. WHat makes your poetry special is that it is your poetry, no one elses. I thank you for your comments, just be Virginia the poet. Seren, I guess I will never get into full happiness will I? If you keep becoming afraid of me I am no longer posting, you scare the hell out of me but I still stalk ya. LOL. so ICQ is dead, well back to e-mails then. Talk to ya soon. Thanks for the comments. "Like Sand underneath the snow, I make you mine." Kristin Hersh |
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