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Open Poetry #14
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Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2001-06-27 08:10 AM


Rewrite:

  How I was saved by love

I dreamt the raven spoke to me,
In a key of mute soliloquy.
An epilogue in silent gesture,
Of some guise of misadventure
He stood an epitaph in state.

Formal black his suit of clothes,
Downward pointed his beak and nose.
His actions seemed a weird malaise
But his eyes showed a bloody blaze,
Implying I, some awesome fate.

Then he cast a whisking spell,
Like misting waters of a well.
That I indeed must go with he.
That made me sink in fear and plea
And my mind flew to abrogate.

The raven tends oblivion,
He tarries him on carrion.
A fearful symbol and a guise,
Impending doom of ones demise.
Closing the gate of quick to late.

I cannot say I welcomed him.
Weather real or ghostly whim
Questioned his list of probate?
He shook his head in quite wait
And again nodded at the date.

Reached for my soul in villainy
I screamed a cry of agony.
I swore to all the gods above,
I could not go, I was in love.
At this he stopped and changed my fate.

Prayered his wings to the skies above
And turned into a snow white dove.
And tears rolled down a pillowed head
As time once more began to shed.
And I once more, more quick than late.


[This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (edited 06-27-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-06-27 08:50 AM


POE has nothing on you.....

An excellent write....a worthy read....a keeper....

yes, a keeper!

BSC
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
2 posted 2001-06-27 08:54 AM


Wow Seymour ~ Just incredible, a beautifully penned tale...  Bonnie
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2001-06-27 09:08 AM


Sunshine,
I thank you sweet. *L*

Bonnie,
Thank you for your time and read and the beautiful comment.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2001-06-27 09:40 AM


very well done Seymour! told well, and in a form to rival the best of the best...


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-06-27 09:52 AM


The raven tends oblivion,
He tarries him on carrion.
A fearful symbol and a guise,
Impending doom of ones demise.
Closing the gate of quick to late.

I cannot say I welcomed him.
Weather real or ghostly whim
Questioned his list of probate?
He shook his head in quite wait
And again nodded at the date.

Reached for my soul in villainy
I screamed a cry of agony.
I swore to all the gods above,
I could not go, I was in love.
At this he stopped and changed my fate.

Prayered his wings to the skies above
And turned into a snow white dove.
And tears rolled down a pillowed head
As time once more began to shed.
=====================================

Ahhh my POE-tic prophet of rhyme divine..
what a work of poetic art this is...
definalty a signature poem to showcase your MANY poetic gifts...
the very cool rhyme and INNER rhyme ...the imagery...
the turn of phrase, the wisdom and truths found in the message...
and the soul of a poet found between the lines...
awesome write Sy-babes...most impressive
and definatley a keeper...
as is the poet  
*winkiewinkie*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Sometimes I wish that I could fly
Shed my skin too thin for wings ...
like a butterfly take to the sky

Fly far, fly free ... fly far away from me
kiss the moon ... sigh on a star
catch a breeze with ease then soar the sea

Be a honeybee or even a bird
a free seagull or maybe a crow
like Poe, where bird became his last word

Perhaps on wings of dove I'll fly above
to Heaven's clouds where angels sing
this my rhyme scheme dream to fly on wings of love

JM

**see how you inspire me  



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2001-06-27 10:07 AM


Cpat Hair,
Flattery will get you everywhere. Thanks Sy

JM,
Your answer rivels my poem. You pic me apart with your art. You see into shadows and even libidos. An sew then into a butterflies credo
and that's why you are my Tinker Bell.
Winkiewinkie Stinky

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2001-06-27 10:24 AM


Seymour......wow.... I wish I could write like this   I wanted this to keep going......
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2001-06-27 10:28 AM


Sea,
THank you much you have a lush mind.

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
9 posted 2001-06-27 10:29 AM


Love wins again!  Well writ my friend.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2001-06-27 10:31 AM


Interloper,
Love always wins. Thank you

helen smith
Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 240

11 posted 2001-06-27 02:18 PM


awwwwww   prayered his wings     !  what a wonderful poem
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
12 posted 2001-06-27 02:24 PM


Helen,
Thank you Helen I'm glad you enjoyed

Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
13 posted 2001-06-27 02:44 PM


An impressive poem.  Interesting phraseology throughout.  Are you an "old master" reincarnated?

Betty Lou Hebert

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2001-06-27 02:46 PM


Seymour~

'I dreamt the raven spoke to me,
In a key of mute soliloquy.
An epilogue in silent gesture'


~You rock the rhyme
You roll the verse
Never forgetting
'twas no curse
To lift on wing
a heart to sing
Oh, my friend
again ... again~

*Loving your touch~
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
15 posted 2001-06-27 02:48 PM


Trillium,
A wonderful commet, I thank you.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
16 posted 2001-06-27 03:36 PM


Hey Seymour!
I'm glad the raven didn't get ya....I'd miss ya.    
These poems are very good and well I'd have to find someone else to read with nothing more than hopeful anticipation.......

               "Reached for my soul in villainy
                I screamed a cry of agony.
                I swore to all the gods above,
                I could not go, I was in love.
                At this he stopped and changed my fate."

Id' tell this woman that..."Ton amour a' changez ma vie!"

I don't think you'd look good in black anyway!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
17 posted 2001-06-27 05:17 PM


Marge,
Again we must have crossed in answering. I just love your poetic responces. *L*

Ethome,
LOL enjoyed your comments.

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
18 posted 2001-06-27 06:25 PM


Definitely masterful.  Love your vocabulary too (I enjoyed learning a couple of new words today!).  And kudos to a positive resolve!

-MVS

"If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn."

"Everyone can hear;  few can listen."

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
19 posted 2001-06-27 06:33 PM


Sir, you have done well with this one. . . Poe indeed. . . soon, they will be speaking of Tabin!!!  

superb. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
20 posted 2001-06-27 06:40 PM


Sy...This is wonderful!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
21 posted 2001-06-27 08:11 PM


Mark,
Thank you for the read. Glad you enjoyed.

Sven,
thank you my friend.

Martie,
A wonderful from you is worth two from anyone else, *L*

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
22 posted 2001-06-28 04:41 AM


Like this Seymour...James
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
23 posted 2001-06-28 08:20 AM


James,
Thank you so much for the read.

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
24 posted 2001-06-28 03:18 PM


I'm glad love saved you, dear Seymour
Before death dragged you through that door.
Alas, if I cried "I'm in love!"
My dearest would give me a shove
Out of this life. He'd say "Be gone!
I don't love you - Leave me alone!"
So if your raven visits me
I'm out of luck, just history. *G*

I loved your poem, Seymour... you've written a melancholy beauty with an uplifting ending. *S* Well done!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
25 posted 2001-06-28 05:43 PM


Suthern,
Your sense of humor is beyond the raven. There is no saying what he would do in your case. LOL Thank you sweet. *L*

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
26 posted 2001-06-28 05:45 PM


Suthern,
Your sense of humor is beyond the raven. There is no saying what he would do in your case. LOL Thank you sweet. *L*

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