Open Poetry #14 |
How Love Saved Me |
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Rewrite: How I was saved by love I dreamt the raven spoke to me, In a key of mute soliloquy. An epilogue in silent gesture, Of some guise of misadventure He stood an epitaph in state. Formal black his suit of clothes, Downward pointed his beak and nose. His actions seemed a weird malaise But his eyes showed a bloody blaze, Implying I, some awesome fate. Then he cast a whisking spell, Like misting waters of a well. That I indeed must go with he. That made me sink in fear and plea And my mind flew to abrogate. The raven tends oblivion, He tarries him on carrion. A fearful symbol and a guise, Impending doom of ones demise. Closing the gate of quick to late. I cannot say I welcomed him. Weather real or ghostly whim Questioned his list of probate? He shook his head in quite wait And again nodded at the date. Reached for my soul in villainy I screamed a cry of agony. I swore to all the gods above, I could not go, I was in love. At this he stopped and changed my fate. Prayered his wings to the skies above And turned into a snow white dove. And tears rolled down a pillowed head As time once more began to shed. And I once more, more quick than late. [This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (edited 06-27-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
POE has nothing on you..... An excellent write....a worthy read....a keeper.... yes, a keeper! |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Wow Seymour ~ Just incredible, a beautifully penned tale... Bonnie |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunshine, I thank you sweet. *L* Bonnie, Thank you for your time and read and the beautiful comment. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very well done Seymour! told well, and in a form to rival the best of the best... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The raven tends oblivion, He tarries him on carrion. A fearful symbol and a guise, Impending doom of ones demise. Closing the gate of quick to late. I cannot say I welcomed him. Weather real or ghostly whim Questioned his list of probate? He shook his head in quite wait And again nodded at the date. Reached for my soul in villainy I screamed a cry of agony. I swore to all the gods above, I could not go, I was in love. At this he stopped and changed my fate. Prayered his wings to the skies above And turned into a snow white dove. And tears rolled down a pillowed head As time once more began to shed. ===================================== Ahhh my POE-tic prophet of rhyme divine.. what a work of poetic art this is... definalty a signature poem to showcase your MANY poetic gifts... the very cool rhyme and INNER rhyme ...the imagery... the turn of phrase, the wisdom and truths found in the message... and the soul of a poet found between the lines... awesome write Sy-babes...most impressive and definatley a keeper... as is the poet *winkiewinkie* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sometimes I wish that I could fly Shed my skin too thin for wings ... like a butterfly take to the sky Fly far, fly free ... fly far away from me kiss the moon ... sigh on a star catch a breeze with ease then soar the sea Be a honeybee or even a bird a free seagull or maybe a crow like Poe, where bird became his last word Perhaps on wings of dove I'll fly above to Heaven's clouds where angels sing this my rhyme scheme dream to fly on wings of love JM **see how you inspire me |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat Hair, Flattery will get you everywhere. Thanks Sy JM, Your answer rivels my poem. You pic me apart with your art. You see into shadows and even libidos. An sew then into a butterflies credo and that's why you are my Tinker Bell. Winkiewinkie Stinky |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Seymour......wow.... I wish I could write like this I wanted this to keep going...... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sea, THank you much you have a lush mind. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Love wins again! Well writ my friend. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Interloper, Love always wins. Thank you |
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helen smith Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 240 |
awwwwww prayered his wings ! what a wonderful poem |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Helen, Thank you Helen I'm glad you enjoyed |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
An impressive poem. Interesting phraseology throughout. Are you an "old master" reincarnated? Betty Lou Hebert |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Seymour~ 'I dreamt the raven spoke to me, In a key of mute soliloquy. An epilogue in silent gesture' ~You rock the rhyme You roll the verse Never forgetting 'twas no curse To lift on wing a heart to sing Oh, my friend again ... again~ *Loving your touch~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Trillium, A wonderful commet, I thank you. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Seymour! I'm glad the raven didn't get ya....I'd miss ya. These poems are very good and well I'd have to find someone else to read with nothing more than hopeful anticipation....... "Reached for my soul in villainy I screamed a cry of agony. I swore to all the gods above, I could not go, I was in love. At this he stopped and changed my fate." Id' tell this woman that..."Ton amour a' changez ma vie!" I don't think you'd look good in black anyway! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Marge, Again we must have crossed in answering. I just love your poetic responces. *L* Ethome, LOL enjoyed your comments. |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Definitely masterful. Love your vocabulary too (I enjoyed learning a couple of new words today!). And kudos to a positive resolve! -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Sir, you have done well with this one. . . Poe indeed. . . soon, they will be speaking of Tabin!!! superb. . . ------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy...This is wonderful! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Mark, Thank you for the read. Glad you enjoyed. Sven, thank you my friend. Martie, A wonderful from you is worth two from anyone else, *L* |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Like this Seymour...James |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
James, Thank you so much for the read. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'm glad love saved you, dear Seymour Before death dragged you through that door. Alas, if I cried "I'm in love!" My dearest would give me a shove Out of this life. He'd say "Be gone! I don't love you - Leave me alone!" So if your raven visits me I'm out of luck, just history. *G* I loved your poem, Seymour... you've written a melancholy beauty with an uplifting ending. *S* Well done! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Suthern, Your sense of humor is beyond the raven. There is no saying what he would do in your case. LOL Thank you sweet. *L* |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Suthern, Your sense of humor is beyond the raven. There is no saying what he would do in your case. LOL Thank you sweet. *L* |
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