Open Poetry #14 |
Along the Streets of Yesterday |
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Along the streets of yesterday I find a place and wend my way alleys deep with trash are strewn streets asleep though tis just noon Lonely junkyard mongrel yelps I pull the chain but nothing helps his life is not mine to free as I can only fend for me Finding life to much to bear nothing here is really there nothing there is here for me I sing the song of being free Waiting on the edge of tears fighting back my many fears a wisp of what I used to be that time when you first loved me |
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© Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Waiting on the edge of tears fighting back my many fears a wisp of what I used to be that time when you first loved me" I remember how this feels......this is so sad....and written so well! |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
a wisp of what I used to be that time when you first loved me Seems we were walking parellel streets today...nice to know I wasn't completely alone. |
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Fancy Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 189TN/USA |
..."a wisp of what I use to be"... what conflicting thoughts for me... loved this line. "...don't ever stop loving, don't ever stop believing, don't ever stop dreaming your dreams..." |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Sadly 1derful... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
DeVine One, There is more then one way to be loved. *L* |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all!!! and Sy, I hope there is..... |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
there is. . . and you know it. . . excellent. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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esclandre Member
since 2001-06-11
Posts 62Northern California |
been there, done that... have the t-shirt... *sigh* weird how sometimes we forget that others have felt the same things... nice. Esclandre |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
PDV I love how you start this... "Along the streets of yesterday" I love the melancoholy thoughts in between. Then you end it like this... "that time when you first loved me" Very enjoyable writing! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"Finding life to much to bear nothing here is really there nothing there is here for me I sing the song of being free" Oh Sharon ... wonderful flow and phrasing, and so much to ponder within ... I really enjoyed your thoughts in this! Best wishes, /Kit |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
Waiting on the edge of tears fighting back my many fears a wisp of what I used to be ........... ============================ These lines and the whole poem seems to go along my mood today........You have really expressed it so well. Thank you for a touching read.... ********************* It's only me.......only me |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Vivid images leading to a last verse I understand entirely too well... this is excellent, PDV! And still the hope - some time, somewhere Will be someone who'll truly care. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice work |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Sharon, the title really pulled me in. What a way to say it..This whole poem says sad, with memories that still hurt. Holding hands here, I'm right there with you. Excellent emotional write. Sandra |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all for you kindness...I DO appreciate you all.. |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
This was so hauntingly sad but so well written. Take care......Sue Suetang |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
PDV, I absolutely loved this poem. I know where you are coming from. Thanks for writting such a beautiful and expressing poem. I don't think I would change a single line... |
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