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Open Poetry #14
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rambling away blurred blues............
| Open Poetry #14 |
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rambling away blurred blues............ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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feel in me the dull shades of grey when daylight is altered to dark, and hear from me the sounds of May when rabid dogs stand tall and bark; even though the weather is great I'm in such a state of nasty call me very unfortunate, sympathize and sell me pity! ever since the bird flew away like a tourist flying free miles and lucrative lures held their sway my spirit is stitched in sad cries; into deep skies, she dashed away, crystal clear with open blue hues, and the colours, she took away from my canvas, leaving back slew. was fragile and now, I'm broken, lightning struck when murky clouds clashed and thunder roared an explosion that left me with all hopes dashed; please don't call me unfortunate, don't sell me packets of pity, no more can I pay the rent, mate, of dreaming those dreams so lofty! and here I am, scribbling hot air as the day fades into nothing, perhaps I am shedding despair with words full of wasted meanings; forgive me friends, I've been unfair to pester you with my wailings and now I am done with my share, bid you bye for today, smiling. Thank you for reading this rambling! °!° "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sudhir, A ramble, is a ramble, is a ramble. Enjoyed the read. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
perhaps I am shedding despair This line is priceless! May we all learn to do so.  BRAVO |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
I've never seen you scribble hot air! Well done! |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Sometimes we just have to let it all out, and let it fall where it may.... never NOT write, Sudhir.... we need to read you... |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
I won't speak for others, but I've been enjoying your thoughts. Perhaps the only true waste is to let such things fester within, never allowing others to share your feelings with you. -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"Don't sell me packets of pity." It helps to let it all out...James |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Sudhir... You are among the best when it comes to rambling! Love these lines.. "don't sell me packets of pity, no more can I pay the rent, mate, of dreaming those dreams so lofty!" I promise there won't be any charge for this packet of pity but......... this is so SAD! heh heh Always fun to read your talent my friend! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
There is no need to ever apologize for your words Sudhir ... I hold them always in the highest regard. Much enjoyed your phrasing within ... and take care of you.  Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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helen smith Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 240 |
you are truly fabulous I loved it as I do all your work |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Sudhir, this was a beautiful write!! if this is what you consider rambling wow... this is better than some of my work that I consider good LOL. In all seriousness, this was just lovely, and as the others say...keep on writing...it does the soul good and we all will keep on reading you and enjoying every line, every stanza of every verse!! take care. amy "but i see your true colors, |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
and here I am, scribbling hot air perhaps I am shedding despair O Sudi, this is wonderful writing, especially loved the above lines. keep writing m'friend Maree |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
feel in me the dull shades of grey when daylight is altered to dark, ========================= my spirit is stitched in sad cries; into deep skies, she dashed away, crystal clear with open blue hues, and the colours, she took away from my canvas, leaving back slew. was fragile and now, I'm broken, lightning struck when murky clouds clashed and thunder roared an explosion that left me with all hopes dashed; please don't call me unfortunate, don't sell me packets of pity, =============================== and here I am, scribbling hot air as the day fades into nothing, perhaps I am shedding despair with words full of wasted meanings; forgive me friends, I've been unfair to pester you with my wailings and now I am done with my share, bid you bye for today, smiling. ======================== You should be smiling...from pride for this one... there are FAR TOO MANY very cool lines of both imagery and emote to call this one rambling my poet of brilliance....far too many very cool poetic turn of phrase as well. that opening line is perfect...the perfect hook and image this is heartfelt expressive and full of imagery and the rhyme scheme is clever and well done... nope..cant call this one rambling... gotta call it poetry in motion SUD-STYLE  I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
"she dashed away, crystal clear with open blue hues, and the colours, she took away from my canvas, leaving back slew" I sure wish I could ramble like this There are so many wonderful phrases in this piece which display your writing talents WEll done Liz |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
if a ramble my friend... then a ramble with substance and one with many many beautiful lines... poems...are at times I feel, just a ramble of mind or thought trying to capture a moment of emotion or an ideal... I enjoyed this.. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I sincerely thank each one of you wonderful people for reading and responding to my poetry. Seymour, it is a way of life is it not... glad that you enjoyed. Thanks a lot VAS, thank you so much... the bravo and the clapping... WOW Interloper, many thanks for your faith in my writing... Lady In White, you are so right... thank you very much Mark, thank you so much... so great are your thoughts too... James, thanks a lot for coming by, my friend Ethome, a packet of smiles for you, my friend... and many thanks Kit, thank you so very much... the feeling is mutual, my friend... you take care too... hugs Helen, I am deeply honoured. Thank you lots Amy, I am really moved after reading your response. Thank you so much, my friend... and you take care too... hugs to you Maree, so glad to se you around... they even rhyme well, don't they? O Janet, my brilliant friend, reading what you have written, I feel touched by angels... you sure know how to make my day. Thank you so much... for everything Liz, O beautiful one, thank you so very much... Ron, a chain of thoughts, it is, my friend... thank you so much... Regards to all, Sudhir "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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