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helen smith
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 240

0 posted 2001-06-26 09:25 AM

He said goodbye
But my hair  did not hear it.
Too shiny now it  fragrants a welcome.
He said goodbye but my eyes  did not hear
Too sparkling  now they scan his return.
He said goodbye
But my ears did not hear it
Too longingly now they  wait for his call.
Fingers   .. .await  the feel of desire.
Only my heart  ,ever alert to his whispers ,
Heard    and encased it in my casket of treasures ..it's there now with
Words  from my life filled with love .
My heart and my casket and I and my heartache
Sit, head bowed ,on the stairway  to my dungeon of despair .
I would lift the lid for one more
touch of my treasure
But I cannot  chance
Losing it
Too.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-06-26 09:33 AM

heartbreaking words...and a strong ending...

RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

2 posted 2001-06-26 09:50 AM

Sigh. This is very special. Bob

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

3 posted 2001-06-26 11:15 AM

Helen~
Such poignancy in your thoughts.
Beautifully done.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2001-06-26 11:20 AM

Helen,
Interesting read.

thecraig
Member

since 2001-03-11

Posts 223

5 posted 2001-06-27 02:48 AM

When not flooded Helen your Dungeon may be pennance proper to encourage new life. Your poem enchanted.

Waseem Cheema
Member

since 2001-03-16

Posts 369
Pakistan

6 posted 2001-06-27 04:57 AM

HELEN
I LOVE U and I will untill death..........
I can understand your feelings.....
Same is here.............

I love to nice poetry.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

7 posted 2001-06-27 07:06 AM

Helen
This is very evocative writing...

              "Only my heart  ,ever alert to his whispers ,
                Heard    and encased it in my casket of treasures ..it's there now with
                Words  from my life filled with love .
                My heart and my casket and I and my heartache
                Sit, head bowed ,on the stairway  to my dungeon of despair .
                I would lift the lid for one more
                touch of my treasure
                But I cannot  chance
                Losing it
                Too."

Very well done!  I really enjoyed the read!

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

8 posted 2001-06-27 07:15 AM

Powerful and intense wording Helen, very nicely written!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

9 posted 2001-06-27 07:47 AM

"I would lift the lid for one more
touch of my treasure
But I cannot chance
Losing it
Too."

This was so heartbreakingly sad and
yet this stanza right here made me
smile...I don't normally pick out a
particular part of a poet's work...but
this just really stood out to me! loved
how you worded the entire piece! you
write with a depth and clarity that i
for one envy!! take care.
amy

"but i see your true colors,
shining through...
i see your true colors
and that's why i love you"
~phil collins~

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

10 posted 2001-06-27 08:48 AM

Vaery good write. I understand this need to hold on..the denial that it is really over. Believe me, I do. You stated it just as it is.
Sandra

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

11 posted 2001-07-30 03:57 PM

Excellent writing Helen..James

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