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Open Poetry #14
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The Perfectionist (for my 7,000th post)
| Open Poetry #14 |
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The Perfectionist (for my 7,000th post) |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada 
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The Perfectionist She had a day - a week - a year … oh heck, lets say a "life", That made her question all the things that led to so much strife; Now some may say she had it all, from outside, looking in, But something kept eluding her … it came from deep within. No chance to sit and catch her breath, no time to stop and think, As pressure mounted endlessly, and took her to the brink; While others gazed in wonderment at what she had achieved, She dwelled in sheer unhappiness, not many could conceive. No one had seen it coming, least of all, the girl herself, She smiled and told her stories, placed her life upon the shelf; They thought they knew her inside out, an open book, they'd say, And placed her on a pedestal, assumed she'd never stray. She played the game, she wore the smile as expectations rose, It wasn't long before her strong enamel decomposed; The sleek protective barrier she wore from day to day, Began to just unravel, much to everyone's dismay. An overwhelming emptiness took hold a final time, And drew her to the depths of hell that surfaced in her mind; The statue they had watched for years, began to fall apart, It crumbled all about the base, exposed her broken heart. Emerging from the crumbled stone, she took a pensive step, And fell to earth in mortal realm, as others watched and wept; She lay amongst the rubble, tried to focus on the crowd, Who gathered all around to see the spectacle they found. They whispered of the travesty - they pointed, gawked and stared, At who they saw before them, flesh and bone, the statue bared; They leaned to touch the warmth of her, amazed at what they saw, No longer on the pedestal, they looked at her in awe. She found her voice and meekly cried, "I'm human, can't you see?" "I make mistakes like all of you, why can't you set me free?" A hush grew all around her then they turned and walked away, Their disillusion evident, in what they saw portrayed. Alone, she rose on shaky ground, the pretence finally lost, She gathered all her strength and measured in her mind, the cost; The never-ending battleground she'd built upon each day, Were goals no human could achieve, and yet, she'd led the way. She built that base she'd climbed upon, they only followed through, Expecting of her what she asked herself to simply do; What kept her on that pedestal was not a fault of theirs, It was the expectations "she'd" created through the years. She did not need forgiveness from the crowd that watched her fall, She needed to forgive "herself" … she's human … after all. /Kit McCallum [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-26-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
O Gawd...thunderous ovation! This is wonderful Kit....I'm printing and framing this NOW!.... Great day in the morning...simple as that...and as profound as a miracle can be! Congrats, Kit! |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
"To thine own self be true". One could collapse under the weight of other's expectations and never satisfy them in the bargain. "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve" |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow. First, congratulations on post number 7000! Second, this is one of your best Kit! A tale well told and a moral we should all take to heart. Wonderful!!!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
No chance to sit and catch her breath, no time to stop and think, As pressure mounted endlessly, and took her to the brink; While others gazed in wonderment at what she had achieved, She dwelled in sheer unhappiness, not many could conceive. No one had seen it coming, least of all, the girl herself, She smiled and told her stories, placed her life upon the shelf; They thought they knew her inside out, an open book, they'd say, And placed her on a pedestal, assumed she'd never stray. She played the game, she wore the smile as expectations rose, It wasn't long before her strong enamel decomposed; The sleek protective barrier she wore from day to day, Began to just unravel, much to everyone's dismay. An overwhelming emptiness took hold a final time, And drew her to the depths of hell that surfaced in her mind; The statue they had watched for years, began to fall apart, It crumbled all about the base, exposed her broken heart. ============================ What kept her on that pedestal was not a fault of theirs, It was the expectations "she'd" created through the years. She did not need forgiveness from the crowd that watched her fall, She needed to forgive "herself" … she's human … after all. ============================= My oh my...talk about walking smack into a mirror... Kit this is an awesome write...in poetic form and in wisdom of truth... you have almost word for word wrote me and my meltdown a little over a year ago... My father was a compulsive perfectionist..as was his father...and so goals that can never be acheived, and being driven to please can literally break ones spirit.. Pedestals only make the fall a little longer down to hit bottom. Outstanding write my gator-girl... Congrats on your milestone...and this masterpiece of cadence to mark it with.. I know this one is going to hit home with far too many of us.  jmI'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Kit, An awesome write. Your talent is showing here. Although I never was on that pedestal and never had that fear. The closest I came to a pedestal was a step stool I'm afraid. I simple stood upon it and watched me the parade. Bless you Sy |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
oh Kit you are AMAZING!!!! wow........ just....wow......this is fantastic! Congratulations on 7000!!  |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Kit, this is fabulous. What a coup for #7000. You know, in some ways it made me think of that women in Texas..evidently she had been one to always help and always be what was expected, and then there was the biggest fall of all. Sorry, I guess that is still on my mind. I see this applying to a lot of people,it's so hard to live up to what is expected. Very very good write! Sandra |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
...Kit... this is one that will go immediately to my "best" list, to it's rightful place at the top! Fantastic, and so true. And the last line rings so close to home, that it will be an inspiration to me.....and I thank you!! CONGRATULATIONS !! The road goes on forever, and the stories never end... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
and in the last line..lies the truth Very nicely written!! Enjoyed a great deal!! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kit~ Sending this in by carrier pigeon, as the parenthesis keep me from delivering it myself.  Congratulations, sweet poet ... the poignant quality of this lovely piece far exceeds anything I could say ... Except ... I LOVE IT ! *Hugs* Thankee, carrier pigeon !  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Mighty congratulations on your 7000, my friend, Kit... This is exquisite poetry... smoothly flowing tale... so well told... Regards O Poetess, Sudhir "I was born intelligent - education ruined me" |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Amen, and a signal achievement on number 7000! Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Applause and Congrats! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
This poem you have done can really help someone out there if they read, and re-read the last two lines over and over, as obsessive compulsive disorder and perfectionism only comes from wounds that are so deep that only one person can take you help you get down, and that is yourself! It requires lots of patience, love and understanding by friends and family, and no unreal expectations can put on the person as they can't help this, and eventually a change will happen. How do I know all this? Well I suffer from this big time, and it is a hard one to handle at times. Congratulations on your 7000th post Kit, and once again you have struck a nerve so deeply with your words. You seem to find a cause to address, and do it in such a healing and loving way, so I thank you. I hope that these profound words seek out and help someone, and I am sure that they will. Bless you. "Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself." ~ Hopi ~ [This message has been edited by Mysteria (edited 06-26-2001).] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
WOW WOW WOW Kit congrads on this huge milestone. WOnderful write. "Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Oh yes! This is fabulous! I have known so many in my lifetime. I have known them to the extent that I truly felt sorry for them......striving for perfection in this imperfect world. I have witnessed what this wonderful poem portrays and I have felt for them the inward wrath of their own personal demise.....................EXCELLENT!! CONGRATULATIONS! on your 7000th You go to the head of the class for this poem! The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
very good. CONGRATULATIONS A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fantastic Kit...James |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
great job with this one Kit. . . you've told the story well, and gave us words to remember. . . it's superb. . . as are you. . . Congratulations!!!!  ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Sunshine: You always make me smile Karilea. I got to read your response before I left for work, and you made my day sunshiney lady, thank you! ~RSWells: You have summarized this perfectly RSWells, thanks you so much for these lovely thoughts. ~Poet deVine: Thank you so much Sharon, I hoped it would come across OK, and it's a moral "I" need to take to heart myself ... thank you for these sweet words. ~Janet Marie: It is a difficult situation JM and truly can break one's spirit. I'm so glad you came out of it OK. I've been looking in this same mirror, and it sometimes scares me a great deal … you've described some things I relate to very closely. Hugs to you for these understanding thoughts. Seymour: Thank you Sy for these lovely words, and I'm smiling here at the step stool visuals. Many thanks for your kindness. SEA: Thanks so much Susan … I'm glad you enjoyed this one, and thank you so much for the wows. Catalinamoon: Isn't that strange Sandra … I re-read the poem with your thoughts in mind, and it puts such a very different slant on the story … very sad indeed. Thank you for enjoying and giving me much food for thought. Sunnyone: What a beautiful comment Sunny, I'm so very glad you found this inspiring, thank you so very much. Cpat Hair: The truth indeed Cpat … it's something I try to remind myself many times, thank you for these kind words. Marge: You've got me smiling again Marge … carrier pigeons and all, LOL. I'm glad you enjoyed this … you always say the sweetest things, thank you. Sudhir: And many regards to you kind sir for your sweet remarks, thank you very much for the lovely thoughts Sudhir. Interloper: Thanks so much Interloper, I'm glad you enjoyed this … I very much appreciate your kind words. JLR: Thank you for the applause and congratulations JLR, I'm very grateful! Mysteria: It's a difficult trait to have Sharon, and one that I do know all too well I'm afraid. I often write to heal myself of my many issues … but I always hope that my thoughts may find their way to helping others. It somehow makes some of my internal hardships a little more worthwhile. Thank you Sharon. Brian: Thank you for all of the wonderful wows Brian … you've got me smiling over here. Many thanks to you! Ethome: Thanks so much for these wonderful words Eric. It is a very sad and self-perpetuating problem, and you've described the inward wrath well. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. Bslicker: Thank you very much Bernie, for the lovely thoughts and the congratulations, I very much appreciate it. James: Thanks so very much James, that means a lot to me, I'm grateful. Sven: I'm glad the story came through well Sven, and I truly appreciate these kind words from you … thank you. Much appreciation to all, /Kit [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-26-2001).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kit--Congratulations on the 7000 and on this most excellent poem...and as brian said so well...WOW! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Oh girl...this is fantastic...truly fantastic...congratulations!!!!!!! |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Congratulations Kit, with a very big gentle smile, on, not only your 7,000, but the honesty of your fantastic post. Not a perfectionist, by any means, but know what it is like to not be able to make a human mistake without it all falling apart..didn't even the gods have feet of clay? gentle smile to you, Kit, very well done |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Martie: Thanks so much for the wow and congratulations Martie, I'm glad you enjoyed, and very appreciative! ~Paula: Thank you for this wonderful and enthusiastic response Paula ... I'm very grateful to you! ~Logan: What a lovely comment Logan ... you've invoked more than a "gentle smile" on this end, I've got a big grin, thank you so much! Much appreciation to you all, /Kit [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-27-2001).] |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Another perfect and excellent piece. I enjoy your work so much. Congratulation on your posts. Melton |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
I'm left speechless Kit ~ Wow what an outstanding piece of work this is...Absolutely incredible!!!! Congratulations on 7,000 Beautiful way to mark that milestone! Bonnie[This message has been edited by BSC (edited 06-27-2001).] |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
A beautifully painted story of words, kept me interested to the last. As we sit in time of rest We join our mind and write our best. Wonderful work. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Congratulations, dear friend Thank you for writing this poem of my life I cried all the way through Excellent writing Liz |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Kit- WOW!!! This is most definitely my favorite of yours!!  Absolutely AWESOME, and a wonderful piece to mark your 7000th post!   CONGRATULATIONS!!! hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Congrats on another grand, m'friend...  and Why did this hit me between the eyes?.. Hmm...  |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Congratulations on your 7000th post, Kit, and this is a fine work. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Melton: I'm so glad you enjoyed this Melton, and thank you so much for these sweet words, they are very much appreciated! Bonnie: It's so wonderful to see you here Bonnie, welcome back! Thank you so much for the lovely comment, I really appreciate it! Rick: Welcome to Passions Rick! Thank you so much for the wonderful comment and the lovely e-mail, I'm very grateful you enjoyed! Elizabeth: It seems we look into the same mirror so many times me twin … thank you so much for these sweet words, I appreciate you very much Liz! Vicky: Thank you for the wonderful sentiments and congratulations Vicky … it's great to have you back at home here, you've been missed! Nan: Thank you very much for the kind thoughts Nan, they are much appreciated. Now if you pop over into the lounge, I'll find us an ice pack since we've both walked into that same mirror.  Kathleen: Thanks so much for the congratulations Kathleen, I'm so glad you enjoyed this one, many thanks to you! Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Congratulations on your 7000th post kit! This was an awesome, introspective piece, I relate so well, you truly are an amazing poet!~ Take care, Melissa~ |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hi, i am not a prefectionist but i do know and cherish the importance of loving and forgiving oneself... a great write...you left me with much to ponder on... |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
Wow, that's wonderful Kit. 7000 posts, I'm at 6, if you have any advice, well I'd aprecate it! Thanks |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Melissa: Thank you so much for this lovely comment and the congratulations Melissa, I very much appreciate it. Faterider: I'm glad you found it a pondering piece Faterider, and I do cherish these same thoughts as well, thank you for enjoying. shadow974: Welcome again Shadow! I'm smiling here at your question regarding advice … I can certainly offer that you need to be "careful" .... this place is simply addictive! I hope you cozy in and enjoy with us. Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Kit: Ever since you posted this poem, it's done its darndest to tempt me from my good intentions... But determination to "catch up" (and desire to miss nothing *S*) always gave my curiosity a good kick and told my longing to read to hustle on back to older poems. *S* And now, I finally achieve my goal... and find myself speechless... after wiping tears the whole way through the read. Janet Marie isn't the only one who found herself walking smack into a mirror as line followed wonderful line in this tale you've told with (dare I say? *G*) perfection. I don't have the words to give your poem the accolades it deserves... but this is one I'll print out to read again and again and again. Congratulations on your milestone post, dear lady... your poetry and replies are a treasure to us all. *S* |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
You know..I absolutely loved this. I soaked up EVERY letter, and nodded my head the whole way. I know this sounds corny, but the subject reminds me of a fallen or falling angel, but you know what I respect the most with that thought in mind? I think its wonderful that you never had to use the word angel at all to get your point across. Superb if ya ask me, Kit. Congratulations on your 7,000th post which means some wonderful writing, some great encouragement for other poets, and a wonderful selfless giving of time to this great place here. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Suthern: I'm always so pleased when you stop by Suthern. What a wonderful note ... I'm glad you waited, and that I didn't disappoint you. This beautiful response warmed my heart .. thank you so much for enjoying and letting me know. Temptress: You've got me smiling this morning too Jenn ... this is such a lovely response, and thank you for seeing the angel aspect, it brings a new perspective to the poem. I'm so glad you enjoyed and thank you so very much for these kind words. Much appreciation to both, /Kit |
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