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Open Poetry #14
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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2001-06-24 09:55 PM


as jagged flickers on the waterline,
curtailing the advances of obsession,
moonlit beads impair the defense of secrecy,
whose resistance diminishes in the glory...

like a balm to the displaced reef,
severed from its established surroundings,
deep-sea hints send me in the direction of sunrise,
who, by instinct, predicts a dawning affirmation...

by way of confident attempts on my pride,
in the habit of employing unstable methods,
defining glimmers fix my attention on limitations,
whose intensity pales me in the glow of nature’s aura...

confiding in me the enigma of sanctuary,
brought to life through the faith in your eyes,
dignity compels me to stare my knowledge into the mist,
which has blanketed the outcome of this evaluation...

-kh 06/24/01

it was love that first drew me,
it is love that will keep me here...
now I see love burning brightly
when everything else is unclear...

© Copyright 2001 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
1 posted 2001-06-24 10:10 PM


"like a balm to the displaced reef,
severed from its established surroundings,
deep-sea hints send me in the direction of sunrise,
who, by instinct, predicts a dawning affirmation..."

Somehow it always seems to know just what we need, doesn't it?  Great write, sp.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-06-24 10:34 PM


as jagged flickers on the waterline,
curtailing the advances of obsession,
moonlit beads impair the defense of secrecy,
whose resistance diminishes in the glory...

like a balm to the displaced reef,
severed from its established surroundings,
deep-sea hints send me in the direction of sunrise,
who, by instinct, predicts a dawning affirmation
============================

hey...ya dont need no pic for this one..ya painted it with your words...
and I really like the way you worked those metaphors and elements of nature to make your emotional express....
I really liked that opening verse...
and hey...MUST BE NICE TO HAVE A MUSE      
very cool poem snowplowbootie  

ps...resent the TS email...
lets see if AOL works for a change  
latergator
me

I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep.
I'm in too far, I'm in way too deep over you.
You'll always be the one.
You were the first, you'll be the last.

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
3 posted 2001-06-25 09:03 AM


Kris-

u are wayyyyy cool girl! has anyone else
here noticed the depth of this girl's
writing or how much she has poetically
GROWN??? Hmm anyway dear loved this!
almost as much as i love ya!!   Have
missed ya honey child and all of your
spectacular writing...drop me an E
would ya? and i promise to respond.

take care my dear friend
~~~~~~~
Aim aka Kool Aid Kid LOLOL

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."  


Caroline7
New Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 8
Florida, USA
4 posted 2001-06-25 11:28 AM


I loved this! Extremely visual.

Caroline..   

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-06-25 01:28 PM


Your metaphors and visuals in this were spectacular, this is a keeper for me, and I absolutely loved it!

"Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself."
~ Hopi ~

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
6 posted 2001-06-25 01:33 PM


Wow!  Well done indeed. Write on!
Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
7 posted 2001-06-25 01:52 PM


Wow! Fantastic write, full of depth and imagery.
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2001-06-25 02:30 PM


I know I don't fully understand the depth of the metaphor in this piece, but I certainly enjoyed the imagery.  Of course, on my coast, I go toward the sunset, so I had to take my perspective back to when if photographed my feet in the Atlantic and York Beach, just south of Nubble Light.  Thanks for carrying me back to that wonderful experience.
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
9 posted 2001-06-25 05:55 PM


LW:  yes, indeed, m'friend...thanks so much!  

JM:  hey you...thanks for readin'...you know I 'preciate the always so cool and in-depth reply... ...p.s. LOOOOVE your sig...very cool  

Aims:  well, there she is, Miss K herself...thanks, m'friend...yer still da best, ya know... ...thank you so much for your flattering replies...means a lot to me, I hope you already know that!!  ttyl!!  -e  ~~~~~

Caroline:  thank you!  I'm glad you liked it!  

Mysteria:  why thank you...I am honored that you would keep this!  thanks for reading!  

Interloper:  thanks!!  glad you could stop by!  

VAS:  well, thank you for allowing my poem to bring back some memories for you!  I appreciate your kind reply!  thanks!  

sp  

it was love that first drew me,
it is love that will keep me here...
now I see love burning brightly
when everything else is unclear...

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
10 posted 2001-06-25 05:56 PM


OOPS!!  I'm so sorry, Gemini...thank you, too, so much for the 'wow!'  I am glad you liked this!  

sp  

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
11 posted 2001-07-01 12:13 PM


deary in my old age i have forgotten
your email address... i mean i know it,
but i can't remember which one of yours
provides fastest response. Help please!
Want to drop you an E  

Aims

"but i see your true colors,
shining through...
i see your true colors
and that's why i love you"
~phil collins~

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