Open Poetry #14 |
Spent....help!!! |
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Help!! I wrote this as I was falling increasingly asleep. Therefore, your candid comments will be extermely appreciated. Does the theme even surface and hold throughout? Virginia Salter toiled and labored stretched and strained bruised and beaten ached and pained day had broken sun had spoken I gave this token of sinew and grace muscles cocked and ready with a bent toward hue of life “How does your garden grow,” sweet Mary?” said old John to his wife. day moved on toward the nighttime rhythm and sway paid the fine then when sundown met horizon, silver trim gave way to rose passion streamed across the sunset gilding cumulus in its thread deepened grays bleed to pink these awesome hours my heart have fed in these moments now a-linger day has used for all intent yes, truly, I as it’s been taken from the future it’s been spent. © June 23, 2001 |
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© Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved | |||
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
woah I aint Joseph so I can't interpret dreams for Pharoah but i do love this and will need to reread to try to understand more o yuh |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Virginia...what a spin this was...I enjoyed your almost asleep attempts to leave behind the memories of your day....from dawn, to dusk...I followed you through your smiles... thank you! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Well, it certainly is free-style. Enjoyed the thoughts. Kinda unsettled by the different styles employed. But the bottom line is I liked it. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I have no idea what you said....but you said it well |
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