Keeping It Short---inspired by envy, shame on me

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Open Poetry #14

Keeping It Short---inspired by envy, shame on me

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-06-21 08:12 PM

Keeping it Short
Virginia Salter

I’ve got to keep it short
like other ones of sport
but when I keep it short
it seems like a retort.

It’s as if, in making essay,
when I have much to say
to clip it would delay
what I’d attempt convey.

Yet others of great talent
to verbiage they don’t relent
so why am I so malcontent
when fewer words I’ve spent?

does this make any sense?

© June 21, 2001

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

1 posted 2001-06-21 08:17 PM

I do understand VAS and I am trying to do better yuh I think it is just burnout.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 2001-06-22 11:35 PM

Yes...I understand. Very nicely done Virginia.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2001-06-23 05:59 AM

VAS-
yep...makes sense to me..

nice write..

~vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2001-06-23 07:01 AM

~smiling..you always have something unique to say..I enjoyed

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2001-06-23 09:12 AM

Ah Virginia...I do so enjoy seeing your wit amuse us! This is delightful! It IS a challenge seeing how much we can say, in seventeen syllables or less....

brevity in form
keeps us in good stead and norm
Difficult? oh My!

The meek
Junior Member

since 2001-06-22

Posts 16
Australia

6 posted 2001-06-23 09:18 AM

So true, how hard it is to put forward ones feeling in such a short amount of words. I have had trouble with tha a lot. Great read...

We must read the lines before we read between the lines.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

7 posted 2001-06-23 10:42 AM

Thanks all for reading. I've just proven a point here, though. You read this one, that at least upon the first read today was farther down the board than one I posted last night that's only been read by one, well commented on by two or three. "Vanity's Play" seems longer, well, it probably is, but it's more interesting than this one, I think. Of course it surprised its readers, greatly, so maybe you read it and just didn't know what to say.

Anyway, shorter, in poetry, wins out, usually. Well okay, maybe it matters most if the poet is expected to have something to say.

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