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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2001-06-19 08:52 AM

I felt it slip
Like waning
Consciousness when
You begin falling asleep.

Subtle at first,
With the edges of feeling
Just beginning to blur
And the hurt not yet felt.

Wrapped up as you were
In the newness of your experiences
You may not have noticed
The drifting.

I have been alone with
Someone before.
That feeling of being there
But so distant

and nothing...

To hold on to...

Or to hold you…

I felt it slip…
And could do nothing
To stop this slide
Into an icy well
Of together.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-06-19 09:38 AM

doesn't sound like a very good together....very sad......I liked this though

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2001-06-19 09:40 AM

Quite stark...and well said....

RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

3 posted 2001-06-19 09:42 AM

Applause!!!!

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

4 posted 2001-06-19 02:11 PM

It is a chilling feeling to be alone when sitting right next to another. Especially if you love the other.
Well done.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

5 posted 2001-06-19 07:12 PM

"I have been alone with
Someone before"

you make me cry...helen

snowpants
Member Elite

since 2000-09-16

Posts 2061
KS

6 posted 2001-06-20 12:45 PM

Great write, cpat hair...it is quite disconcerting to feel such loneliness while with another...wonderfully written...I truly enjoyed this...

sp

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change around me
I’d tell it to your face,
But you lost your face along the way...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

7 posted 2001-06-20 02:43 AM

Oh I loved this...

Wonderful writing

Maree

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

8 posted 2001-06-20 02:47 AM

And what a lonely place that is, and I know I spent 8 years in that space, well done indeed.

~*~ Tell someone you love them today, as tomorrow may never come ~*~

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