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brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2001-06-18 05:39 PM

Yawning a mouth out onto the feral lawn,
swishing thighs dash into waves
of jungle blades tickling
pink lucid childhood, still rugged
as my four day stubble.
I long to laze in bedded bliss,
eyes shut to the world's quest,
but
There are itches
I need to scratch.

Outside stagnates
a fervour fragrance;
an aphrodisiac
manhandling nature into frenzy
sprouting hyper
little boys so eager
for their acne puberty,
their rite of passage,
every holiday
a riot of passage!

Through echoes serene
the cancer queen,
pygmy tractor, strafes
with a new leash of life.
More jaded rasps
as the blades caress
this cumbrance season.
with a war of mutilation.

Slaps and back drafts
of seared harvest
leave me coated
squirming as
a little grass rat in pollen hell.
As last stem bows to my charge,
my skin sighs languished
in phlegmatic victory.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2001-06-18 05:43 PM

               "Outside stagnates
                 a fervour fragrance;
                 an aphrodisiac
                 manhandling nature into frenzy
                 sprouting hyper
                 little boys so eager
                 for their acne puberty,
                 their rite of passage,
                 every holiday
                 a riot of passage!"

Hey Brian that's on of the best descriptions of the energy found in the silence of the ourside world....another gem my dear man!

The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up
spaces of consciousness and resistance; to language oppressions; to
re-language historie

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

2 posted 2001-06-18 05:44 PM

Yawning a mouth out onto the feral lawn,
swishing thighs dash into waves
of jungle blades tickling
pink lucid childhood, still rugged
as my four day stubble.
I long to laze in bedded bliss,
eyes shut to the world's quest,
but
There are itches
I need to scratch.

Brian, I love the opening stanza, such wonderful images, very clear and calm. Very Serene.

Maree

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

3 posted 2001-06-19 03:51 PM

Ethome, Maree thank you for your extremely kind replies. Those words mean so much to me.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

4 posted 2001-06-19 06:52 PM

I totally loved the powerful and unique images that you've used in this one. . . it made me think and picture. . . and I like to do that. . .

excellent Brian. . .

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

5 posted 2001-06-19 06:56 PM

I have to echo Sven another excellent write poet sir your depth of talent astounds me, much enjoyed Thank you.

Regards,
Olias.

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

6 posted 2001-06-19 07:45 PM

your command of the english language continues to amaze me.... let's write again soon.... i'd like that... you use words on many levels and you've proved your control of imagery and depth of emotion with this one

i love it!!!

no yawn on the lawn here.... my eyes wide open to breath your words.....

wonderfully done, my friend

i might repost alternatives ... that was so special to me to write that with you...

if i had half your insight and command of the language at your age, i might even like some of the stuff i write today... rofl... just kidding, can't write anything hardly lately...

((((bighugs)))) you talented POET you!!

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

7 posted 2001-06-20 02:40 PM

Sven, thanks for your very kind response.

OLIAS, I am blushing from your generous reply.

Doreen, phew ok I am speechless, my ego has just expanded beyond all belief. I would love to write with you, at the moment my muse is giving me the cold shoulder as well.

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

8 posted 2001-06-20 04:23 PM

Some very startling and clear imagery, Brian, of growing from boy to a man.
Towards the end, it takes a new twist,
and leads me wondering how literal,or how figuartive are these words?

Hoping all is okay,

Corinne

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

9 posted 2001-06-21 12:40 PM

Excellent writing, my friend, brian...

regards,
sudhir

"I was born intelligent - education ruined me"

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

10 posted 2001-06-22 02:06 PM

Corrine, thank you for your concern but it is mostly metaphors, looking at nature and my own inner nature. I am perfectly fine. Thanks for your very kind words

Sudhir, thank you kindly, my friend.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

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