»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #14
»
Undone
| Open Poetry #14 |
|
Undone |
|
|
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
She walks in the door, anger and tension radiating from her, ready to face the battleground their home has become. Silence greets her, and she notices a soft glow, and goes to investigate. She finds a trail of flickering candles. The sweet scent of gardenias fills the air. She hears the opening beat of her favorite song... Confused, she walks through the house. Here and there are scattered forgotten pieces of their love... ...a teddy bear he won for her... a picture taken at their wedding... the ring he bought her, the first one, that meant so much more than the diamonds now sparkling on her hand. But where was he? She enters the bedroom Gardenia petals are scattered everywhere. Handfuls of Hersheys Hugs, her favorite, are tossed upon the bed, the foil covering glittering in the candlelight. And still... no him. Softly, hesitantly, she calls his name. Just one word, holding all her hurt, Her questions... ...and he whispers to her... |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Paula Finn - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Awww, how delightful, Paula. It should happen like that at the times we need it most, such a good read...gentle smile |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sigh...okay...I guess you HAD to stop there!  But this definitely call for a part II!  See ya in the Adult Forum? hmmmm? lol |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Lovely and interesting the way you laid this out Paula...James |
||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Paula~ A nice steamy (imagination working overtime) piece to kick off my week ! Nice !!!! REAL nice ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
Fancy Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 189TN/USA |
...this is an excellent poetic lesson needed to be learned by many..... |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
You are such a romantic! Dear lady this has a precious feel to it all the way through....very well done!! The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
this is the start of forgiveness. . . great job Paula. . . --------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Paula dearest sister, my friend loves this one, says to tell you that you are a very very good writer. Loves the imagery in this, I said you were good, and this shows how superb you are darling girl.    Take care love as always Oh this is excellent Mushy Take back the hope you gave,- I claim |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
well done, come one let's hear some more. "This rose has seen red, I have been blue |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very good telling and building of suspense which pulls the reader deeper into the tale with each line.. enjoyed this very much! |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Paula, I'm glad it had a happy ending, excellent write. Sandra |
||
|
Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Paula, It seems you get better each time I read your work. Keep going. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love |
||
|
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Logan...yes it should...love takes work...most people dont have the time...thank you serenity...HAHAHAH....we will see... James...thanks sweet friend Marge...isnt imagination a wonderful thing LOL...thank you Fancy...love takes dedication to keep it fresh and alive...thank you for reading ethome...romantic? Wanna share a HUG? Thank you sweet poet man... Sven...and what a start huh? Thanks Marsha...thank you for showing it to your friend baby girl...you are sweet Kathleen...Im not sure there is more sweet sis...let it sit a bit and we will see what happens Cpat Hair...I'm glad you liked it..thanks Sandra...well sometimes there are happy endings...you just have to work harder for them Daniel...you are too kind my friend |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
