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Open Poetry #14
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brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2001-06-14 02:35 PM


For two very special women in my life

===============
"Your grandmother always had time for you"
my mother enthused,
as she sat
nursing a cup of strained tea.
Tomorrow threw up more
than its usual uncertainties,
etching an invitation to gather
at our ritual meeting place,
this kitchen table,
a hostel for our vulnerable
tongues to talk
person to person
not as mother to son.

My grandmother drew her last sigh
when I was light with genuine smiles.
Still does that doe eyed boy
thrive, or was his hearse
my itching man-suit?
"You are a wise son,"
not enough she believed
to devote to my beloved.
I am still a child
and the child remains
an exotic element. Will he accept  
when these two loves at last commit?

My mother whispered
of heart and health,
her rural-reasoning healed
the apathy of my intellect.
I may rest, an artless
infant in the depths
of my mother's love.
From mother
to
Lover cradling her child,
in nestling arms,
still cherishes my charms.


-------------------

My first major exploration into emotional poetry,
without any obscure metaphors. For such a personal poem it was not an easy write.

Special thanks to Kamla for great editing advice with the first verse.


"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 06-14-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-06-14 02:42 PM


So very well done....and I sincerely hope we soon see more of this side of you....
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

2 posted 2001-06-14 02:42 PM


The title is deceptively simple...the poem deep and complex.  I liked this more than I seem to be able to express at the moment.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-06-14 02:45 PM


Very impressive and complex...I enjoyed this much more than I imagined...when I first read the title...I expected something much less than this....

great work!!!


Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
4 posted 2001-06-14 04:05 PM


Fantasic Brian. Your writing has really blossomed, I must read more of you!

This is exceptionally done, and it reminds us about the importance of taking time to sit and talk with family.

Thank you!

Corinne

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2001-06-14 07:40 PM


Oh Brian, I really love this, it's so deep and vivid, I loved every single line

Excellent writing!

Maree  

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-06-14 10:08 PM


Yes, it's very emotional, very moving, Brian, good to see this side of you, I love it.

"This rose has seen red, I have been blue
I'm going to Ireland in 2002!" Kathleen.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-06-14 10:11 PM


Wow, this was beautiful Brian.  I have always said the best writing comes from the heart.  This one shines.  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
8 posted 2001-06-14 10:11 PM



Yes, I too, love to see this tender side of you, Bri.  This is a touching, wise tribute  

Take care,
Melissa~

Julie Jordan Scott
Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 146
Bakersfield, CA USA
9 posted 2001-06-14 10:20 PM


Hi Brian,

I especially appreciated these lines:

"this kitchen table,
a hostel for our vulnerable
tongues to talk
person to person
not as mother to son"

Thank you for being open to writing, and sharing, such an emotional piece.

JULIE

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
10 posted 2001-06-14 10:22 PM


Brian, this is simply stunning. You handled the issue perfectly. Much enjoyed.
Sandra

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
11 posted 2001-06-15 01:41 PM


Karilea, thank you for very kind words. I hope my muse is kind enough to let me explore this kind of writing  more.

JLR, thank you. I am glad that you enjoyed the poem.

Cpat Hair, your words mean a lot to me, thank you.

Corinne, wow... I am blushing here, thank you for your wonderful comments. They mean so much to me.

Maree, thanks.
  
Kathleen, thank you.

LW, thanks.

Melissa, sometimes we tend to take forgranted things that are close to us, I just had to tell a few people how much they mean to me. Thanks for your very kind words.


JULIE, it was no trouble sharing. We can all learn from each other's poetry. Thanks.

Sandra, thanks.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2001-06-15 04:42 PM


I love this view into your world...and it IS sweet...but sssshhh....I'll not tell anyone, wouldn't want to spoil your reputation!  

Absolutely charming!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2001-06-16 07:49 AM


My grandmother drew her last sigh
when I was light with genuine smiles.
Still does that doe eyed boy
thrive, or was his hearse
my itching man-suit?
"You are a wise son,"
not enough she believed
to devote to my beloved.
I am still a child
and the child remains
an exotic element. Will he accept  
when these two loves at last commit?
===========================================

"itching man-suit" ...oh man...I love the way your mind works
what a cool line...what a cool poem...
Yes...I must concur with the above ...
I too like seeing this side of your writing,
this is beautiful in its honest, sincere intend Bri.
later-soulpoet-gator
me

she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me
like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
~MB20~

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

14 posted 2001-06-16 05:42 PM


Here I am..late again but here. WOW. I DEFINITELY want to see more of this type of poetry from you...you are very good at it. Changing styles, stretching yourself - makes your writing grow...it's a very sensitive piece Brian.

Hey - and you're welcome   It's nothing really...glad to help any time k? You're so sweet to do that lol...

K

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
15 posted 2001-06-17 05:39 PM


Seren, thanks for keeping my secret, you know I can't have everyone thinking I got a soft side. Thank you for your wonderful words.

Jan, thank you for your continued support and kind words  

K, you deserved credit for your help. Thank you for the advice and for the big thumbs up. Thanks  


"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

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