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Open Poetry #14
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I Within You
| Open Poetry #14 |
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I Within You |
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IWithinYou Junior Member
since 2001-06-14
Posts 21Within You |
Midst the play of words roles society enacted beliefs suffered casualties defined this broken jagged mindscream reality called being I tumbled past the crater of tomorrows bouncing downward strewn bleeding yesterdays marked and marred my paths voracious seeking passing Prometheus asking if he dreamed only constantly echoed screams lost in my descending while thorns which bled me crags impaling did I wonder where bloodletters and bloodied met contriving mad inhalations presenting paradox indecipherable undeniable I the blood I the thorns within birthed more maddening wiles if both I thing and motion too physics religion science argued dialogue unending crossroads plainly marked halted sign etched in time choice believe to find Pathway clear barbs fell away being one who is also two to gaze upon the mirrorland formerly so skewed emotive blinding agitation found myself on feathered air ascendiing the melody of I Within You "Had I the wisdom to have attended school, I should doubt I should need the education at all." [This message has been edited by IWithinYou (edited 06-14-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 IWithinYou - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Well I tried to be within you as you were trying to be within me the reader....I got lost along the way...but I still believe! Very interesting writing! I know I'm going to have to read it again....but I have to say I really enjoyed it! "within birthed more maddening wiles if both I thing and motion too physics religion science argued dialogue unending crossroads plainly marked halted sign etched in time choice believe to find." I'm lost I'm sorry but I'm happy to be here! The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A very interesting read! Welcome to Passions! Please check your e-mail for a special message! Karilea |
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Eye Junior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 28Outside Looking In |
I must say this is unusual to the point of near unique. An odd but interesting view of poetry. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
interesting use of words..and while I am sure I do not fully understand all you are saying, I was( with my feeble little mind) able to pick out several lines that impress me.... looking forward to reading more.. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
while thorns which bled me crags impaling did I wonder where bloodletters and bloodied met contriving mad inhalations presenting paradox indecipherable undeniable I the blood I the thorns within birthed more maddening wiles if both I thing and motion too physics religion science argued dialogue unending crossroads plainly marked halted sign etched in time choice believe to find =========================== this is very deep ... and very cool... interesting vocabulary and stark clever imagery. Welcome to Poetry Land... its nice to have you here. I look forward to more your work. take care jm she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I, like others will need more time and effort to decipher you... indecipherable undeniable I the blood I the thorns sighing..I am not always good at capturing the meanings behind words...I have lived too simple of a life amongst the very young and have a simple mind...huggss and welcome ~Wynter * but I will keep trying...*s "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Welcome!  and wow....very cool writing [This message has been edited by SEA (edited 06-14-2001).] |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
ok I am with the majority, it is a bit hard to follow, but an interesting read nonethless..welcome |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
this has a feel and a power about it much like something I tried to write once...like one is swirling in the pot of stew of life, living...it's like the things of life are coming at the speaker in random order, as if in a hurricane or tornado and the teller is almost lost trying to cope within it all am I on first base or way out in left field? then when I think of the title along with this idea, I think maybe that is the way the speaker is feeling about the relationship of the I and the You |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Welcome to Passions. i look forward to future works. |
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IWithinYou Junior Member
since 2001-06-14
Posts 21Within You |
Many thanks for reading and gracious comments. Dichotomies, dualities this walk through mirrorland. Sorry I get confused myself sometimes just on which side of the mirror I stand, darn forgot I am the mirror between the two. See the confusion works out geometrically althought there is a linear sense to the journey written of above. But meaning is perhaps like beauty- inthe eye of the beholder. Back to my day job- "Newww Lamps for Olllddd, Newwwww Lamps for Olllddd" |
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IWithinYou Junior Member
since 2001-06-14
Posts 21Within You |
Hey.......it's raining. Lamps won't light in the rain, moron, new lamps or old! Time to come in now...... |
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IWithinYou Junior Member
since 2001-06-14
Posts 21Within You |
Good advice, I think. But some flames burn in any weather. Thanks for informong me of the rain. I often miss such things on this side of the mirror. "Yes Virginia, there really is a Sybil." |
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Death Member
since 2001-05-26
Posts 112Twilight |
Ok, I see the journey in the poem. But schiozphrenia can really cause me a lot of problems. Not the least of which is multiple trips from here to there. Try to pull it together, just eventually, ok. I have a friend who once said-"Sooner or later, Death makes a believer out of just about everyone." |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi I-Within-You I have many a write like this and my mirrow does reflect many veiw points of my life, in the end it's always in the eye of the beholder that comes to any understanding of which path they will choose to travel, excellent writing here will be looking forward to more of your work and welcome to passions. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. |
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