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Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member

since 2000-10-13

Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

0 posted 2001-06-08 04:19 AM

I am afraid and willing for what
happiness, individual entirety, and relief
might require.
If it asks, we must erase
the certain presence of each other
to keep ourselves from disappearing;
perhaps the force of separation
will whittle need down to conversation.
If the dynamic of our life
was tucked between words of
the hush 3am telephone talks:
dehydrated to concentrate like crack and orange juice:
the sap of our love weaned
from flat ten hours of whispering and pontification…
then,
perhaps,
the soft devotion will survive.

Maybe we’re both too drunk and need to go home.
Maybe I need a half a glass of you before bed;
to let the vulgar, sweet resin
smolder under my tongue
until it hardens and putrefies
and I can scour you from my mouth in the mornings,
knowing the tarnish on my teeth
was good for my heart after all.

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

1 posted 2001-06-08 05:28 AM

Did I ever mention I like your work?

Did I ever mention I read it more than I commented because usually I am so stricken by it I don't know what to say?

I'm saying it now, and no..not for the sheer sake of trying to make myself sound good. I love your work. I do. This was surely a dose of something I needed this morning.

Hope you're back for a while.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-06-08 05:36 AM

I love the way your mind works.

The images you use and the comparisons you make are always vivid and fresh. When I grow up? I wanna write like you!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-06-08 07:44 AM

this is an excellent piece which merges emotions and images to convey the idea...

Watersign6
Senior Member

since 2001-05-25

Posts 823
Hurricane,WV

4 posted 2001-06-08 07:48 AM

this is just too good,how'd you learn to write like that and if it is a natural gift
can i have some? hehe..i truely enjoyed this
piece

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

5 posted 2001-06-08 07:48 AM

Powerful intense write! Feelings on the sleeve, in the last part especially......hope you have a nice morning!

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

6 posted 2001-06-08 01:06 PM

now this is why I miss your writing so much. . . you convey it with such conviction and feeling and depth that it just comes off of the page. . .

you give the reader something to take back with them, thinking about how what you've written not only affects you, but how it affects them as well. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

7 posted 2001-06-08 05:07 PM

I have to agree with everyone else, powerful writing. enjoyed this poem alot.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

Tovi
Member

since 2001-06-05

Posts 168

8 posted 2001-06-08 07:13 PM

Now THIS is POETRY!!!!!!!! Stunning. I loved it. Shall linger over it for many enjoyable reads. My compliments.

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member

since 2000-10-13

Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

9 posted 2001-06-09 02:58 AM

*BIG sigh* Uhm, yeah, I've missed open lol...
thanks all... special replies later.

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