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Open Poetry #14
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-06-05 02:55 AM


I don't have feelings.
I write them away.
You think I'm concealing?
I'm done with this game.
The hatred that underscores
this passion's play--
done with revealing
my heartbreak each day.
All talk and ideals
and rhymes that can sway
as my heart breaks over
finger's type play.
Everything over
and over again--
another heartbreak--
another lost friend.
My father is dying.
My friend? She is dead.
I don't have feelings.
I write them instead.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
1 posted 2001-06-05 03:04 AM


I am so sorry about your father and your friend, but isn't typing getting those feelings from eating you alive..Best of luck, and it is a good write...gentle smile
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-06-05 03:59 AM


Logan? thank you, but I'm sitting here, staring at a picture that I admired more than once in my friend's home. There was a running joke between us that one day it would be mine. It was delivered to me tonight. My friend hanged herself less than a month ago...so no...there's little comfort for me tonight, but I do thank you and the forum for putting up with my anger. I'm sorry.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-06-05 08:55 AM


Now to see things clear, it's hard enough I know
While you're waiting for reality to show
Without dreaming of the perfect love and holding it so far above
If you stumbled on to someone real, you'd never know
(You'd never know)

You could be with somebody who is lonely too
(Sometimes it doesn't show)
He might be trying to get across to you
(Words can be so slow)
When your own emptiness is all that's getting through
There comes a point when you're not sure why you're still talking
I passed that point long

(Long ago)

Now I'm so tired of all this circling
And all these glimpses of the end
(You know it's useless to pretend)
That's all the voices say:
"You'll go right on circling
Until you've found some kind of friend"


Now I'm sitting here wondering what to say
(That you might recognize)
Afraid that all these words might scare you away
(And break through the disguise)
No one ever talks about their feelings anyway
Without dressing them in dreams and laughter
I guess it's just too painful otherwise.


~Jackson Browne~
The Late Show


you "sigh" beautifully baby...
what are you apologizing for??..
honest sincere emotive poetry?...I didnt think so ...
write it out me twin ...
wrap it in rhyme, find the quiet comfort in the release and heal in the purge
love you KA
me

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 06-05-2001).]

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
4 posted 2001-06-05 04:00 PM


Powerful emotionally raw words. I am sorry that you are facing such pain right now. HUGE HUG. Take care, and check your e-mail box.

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

5 posted 2001-06-05 04:41 PM


*long low sigh*....wow do I know this or what?.....sometimes I worry about myself...I write out my feelings, post them...and forget...it is a way of cleansing...but some things need not be cleansed and forgotten, they need changed.....nice work lady  
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2001-06-05 07:53 PM


I disagree...you DO have feelings. If you didn't you're poetry wouldn't touch us so...
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
7 posted 2001-06-17 08:26 PM


I don't know how you do it sometimes....I think it's not true that G*d will only hand us what we can cope with...I think sometimes it's a bit too much for anyone..huggssss on this one..deep sighhhh

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 2001-06-17 09:27 PM


I echo Sharon  

It's always a pleasure to read you hon  

Maree

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

9 posted 2001-06-17 10:05 PM


Each person deals with angst differently I believe. Myself?  Well, I write.  It hurt me to read this, knowing the pain and gut courage it took to write it.  I'm sorry this happened.  I spent 20 years without friends, barracaded inside my home and fought depression and anger for 35 years.  I KNOW what interaction and being around people is to me...it is life.  Never apologize for honest, sincere, heart wrenching words if they get it out.  But please don't keep it in.  You are far too beautiful a lady to keep it inside..we are all here for you in whatever capacity we can be.  Sometimes we feel like no one wants to hear and maybe we're "bleeding all over the page" and you know something?  Sure, we are.  Poets bleed.  But when they stop, perhaps the transfusion from other poets gives a newer, fresher God-saving life.  God bless  you.

[This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 06-17-2001).]

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
10 posted 2001-06-17 11:26 PM


We all have our ways to deal with grief.  I'm sorry there is so much to deal with.  Joyce
RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

11 posted 2001-06-18 12:43 PM


You have a right to your anger. Suicide is a selfish and senseless act leaving only the living to wonder. I'm sorry for your loss.

"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve"

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2001-06-18 01:50 AM


Logan...I would like to thank you again, properly this time. My apologies if I seemed abrupt...thank for reading!

JM...you are one secret weapon of a friend lady...I treasure you, yanno that? If you don't then shame on ME! love you.  

brian...you, my irish bud, are a LOVE!!! HUGE HUG back to ya...now let's get in drag and go dancing!  

jb..sorry I wasn't around as much...so much happened here so quickly. But thank you, lovie, for reading, caring, and sharing.

sharon...I guess I do. I'm sitting here remembering that night. I threw the picture in garbage TWICE. Thank you, for being "there" for me. I'm afraid I'm totally graceless when it comes to these things.

Wynter? you, my friend, were like a cool breeze on a hot day today...lol..and this is New Orleans...we appreciate wynter here..
Thank you again, with HUGS.

Maree...and it's always a pleasure to know that you read my ramblings. Thanks, and I've got a new dream too...someday, you ARE gonna show me around Sydney!!!!

Kath? I thank you for saying that. Sometimes I fuss before I post, thinking, to myself, "well there ya go again...they are gonna think you are playing on sympathy!" But I find that it doesn't matter what I try to write about, it's all going to come out anyway...so, thank you for understanding!

Joyce? Thank you for your consistant kindness to me. Was just a bad week. Apparently she had worse. I do try to keep that in mind. Hugs and smiles to you.

RS...it was confusing to me. To see two people I love, one battling to see another day, and the other just threw that away. I'm not angry anymore, even though I still don't understand. I think something peaceful took over me after I released the stupid idea that I could understand, "why". Thank you for reading! And welcome, once again.

Thanks all, and now please...go read something HAPPY...(I know, I know, it would have to be another poet!

LOL with hugs to all you wonderful people here at Passions!

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
13 posted 2001-06-19 07:08 PM


ouch...this one aches a bit...

some of lifes heartbreak written very well...

heres wishing you a sunnier day...

, g

no i wont be afraid.
no i...wont be afraid,
just as long
as you stand,
stand by me...
-ben e king

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
14 posted 2001-06-19 07:17 PM


serenity-
  WOW...and OUCH!!!
  this just aches...and i can
  relate to this all too well
  at times.
  thanks for sharing this one..

  hugs,
  ~vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

15 posted 2001-06-20 03:09 PM


Thanks g--yer a doll!!!

vicky--it's good to see ya here! Thanks for reading!  

Thanks again to all for tolerating my rants!
Love you good poet people!

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