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Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

0 posted 2001-04-06 04:26 PM

- (My friendly anonymous Muse assisted me once again with this Sonnet)

As a man born, now I sense our difference
by cognizance of how your tastes now bleed
My passion and your closeness make me sense
I feel your love, wanting now more than need

I want to bear your body pressed on mine
breathe in your scent, so yours - laying on me
taking us to kisses, touches, deeply pined
where we succumb I feel blessed you love so free

In innocence we come together, a mystery
this passion that grips us, waylays our sense of time
in blessed release, brings forth our harmony
the same that shall enfold us as we upward climb

We were born I know to meet each other's need
Thus we love not feel it just as greed

The first duty of love is to listen.

~ Paul Tillich ~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2001-04-06 04:29 PM

You and your Muse, Mr. Yeats, have a terrific sense of timing....

well done!

Panne447
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 196
S.A. TX

2 posted 2001-04-06 05:16 PM

Wil, This Shakepearean sonnet is a bit off - not strictly iambic pentameter but you can make it so with ease eg., line one -difference has 3 syls I believe - dif fer ence- lines 7 & 8 also has 11 syls; line 9 has 13 syls; line 10 has 12; line 12 has 12;
line 13 has 11 and line 14 has 9. Not sure how exact you want to be with this but since a sonnet is so particular, I thought you might like to know. I know I get too close to my work and rely on friends and places like Passions to point out what I am too close to see myself. I hope I was of some help. Panne

kitkat
Senior Member

since 2000-01-11

Posts 878
Nova Scotia

3 posted 2001-04-06 05:52 PM

Very Lovely. I enjoyed the read

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

4 posted 2001-04-06 05:52 PM

I like this sonnet. I do not write sonnents so I wouldn't be any help academically but as a poem I enjoyed it alot.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

5 posted 2001-04-07 02:29 AM

This dear man is one very moving and beautiful declaration of love...what a lucky lady

RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

6 posted 2001-04-07 02:34 AM

Wilfred....."innocence"...."harmony"...nicelywoven. Bob

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

7 posted 2001-04-07 11:53 AM

Panne -

I guess - I have my 'less strict' moments - - and I'd only completed a portion of a poetic thought in sonnet form - when I got stuck - My friendly muse came along and - I was unwilling to squeeze things down into pure pentameter when all 14 were complete - and so it will remain - with apologies to Mr Shakespere and the hope you'll forgive me too.

For the rest of you = My abiding thanks for reading and finding something to enjoy
I'll try to stay 'confined' in the future

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