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Open Poetry #13
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My broken Hourglass
| Open Poetry #13 |
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My broken Hourglass |
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Brad Majors 
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia 
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Tangled up inside a coiled mangled mess of empty hopes and infomercial dreams Rambling about someday when tomorrow never comes and yesterday is past My hourglass is shattered and all I can do is slow the grains rushing rushing through my fingers My time is coming fast to an end and I'm not yet dressed for the ball the white rabbit keeps saying he's late to the Queen of Hearts Execution Gala I've drained my last drop of hope but here's my magic hat and abracadabra I will have just a little more Tripping outside I play my part well a happy, ignorant fool loitering in a life that isn't mine waiting for my tombstone's final completion. [This message has been edited by Brad Majors (edited 04-05-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Dan Mauro - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I would only change "hoped" to hope...and I certainly enjoyed the references to the White Rabbit....it brings back many thoughts.... I enjoyed! |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow - wow - wow- oh my, Brad! Although a very despairing poem, this is a superior write, clever, so deep with emotion, excellent use of a metaphor and references to charcters. I must have this for my library  I'm truly sorry that you feel this way, I have felt like this many times before, hopefully your pain will lessen, hugs to you~Take care, Melissa~ |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
Thank you both. This place is awesome! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Brad, excellent! very cool write! SEA |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
My time is coming fast to an end and I'm not yet dressed for the ball the white rabbit keeps saying he's late to the Queen of Hearts Execution Gala A splendid write Brad... I enjoyed the read... I'll keep my eyes posted for more of your poetry... ~coco~ |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
loitering in a life that isn't mine waiting for my tombstone's final completion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Interesting write. You DO have a vivid imagination. An excellent tool for a writer of free verse and prose. Give us more. Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
Thank you! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Brad--In the end, time ticks us all out, doesn't it...quite an interesting poem...enjoyed the reading...thank you. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
 Brad* Although painfilled this poem shows the talent of a gifted poet...excellent writing~ |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Brad, this is a very nice poem , it portrays life so well, how it seems to go by so quickly, as the sand from the hourglass rushes through my fingers, I loved this. |
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PoeticaL Member
since 2001-03-31
Posts 50 |
You know what I think...before I can think it. But I was here...I read it again because I'm waiting for the book. "I'm a junkyard full of false starts....Elliot Smith" |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
of empty hopes and infomercial dreams ----------------- I absolutely loved this! An awesome write for sure. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
My hourglass is shattered and all I can do is slow the grains rushing rushing through my fingers Very powerful images here, Brad. This was a great write! All writing comes |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
Thank you all very much! |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
This is an interesting write, indeed. The poem is imaginative--laced with despair and a dash of wit. Marie~ |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Very impressive piece of work Brad. For a moment, I felt as though I was gasping for air. Way to make the reader feel your work. Looking forward to more. ~Sheri |
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KokoStewartKoomoa Senior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 580Waikiki, Hawaii |
vivid imagery...great write! Aloha with warmest regards, Koko |
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