Open Poetry #13 |
Desert of My Soul |
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Desert of My Soul Across this barren desert, I have traveled many years, The tropics of my youth, so long forgotten through the tears; Before me lies an endless sea of unforgiving sand, No refuge to be found across this vast, expanse of land. As sun rays burn my weathered skin, the winds have gathered force, I urge myself to carry on, to try to stay my course; But low the sand is warm and soft, it welcomes me to rest, With no resistance left, I fall … abandoning my quest. I'm bleeding, broken, laying in this wasteland of despair, The scavengers are hovering, like devils in the air; I watch them through my weary eyes, they circle me as prey, I wave my hands in futile gesture, keeping them at bay. I struggle through confusing thoughts as conscious efforts shift, 'Twas long ago I lost my will … my mind began to drift; I started out this journey fortified with faith to burn, A satchel filled with dreams and hope, renewed at every turn. No worries to re-fill my cup when I was running low, For always an oasis gleamed, replenishing my soul; But somewhere I grew weary and the days grew hot and long, I lost the small delights of life that kept me fresh and strong. The nights closed in with vengeance, they were cold and stark and bleak, With morning just a repetition, nothing left to seek; My vision had abandoned me, my dreams had turned to dust, My faith and strength forsaken, in a world I could not trust. And so I lay, in crumbled mass, upon the desert floor, Afraid to look ahead to prove there's really nothing more; The wind is blowing 'cross my brow, the sand is in my eyes, My throat is parched, no longer can I utter simple cries. I strain to see above myself, they're closer now I fear, The scavengers have sensed I've given up, and circle near; A victim of my own intent, no one to place the blame, It rests upon my shoulders, it was "I" … who failed the game. In forfeiture, I close my eyes, surrendering my will, Assuming I had taken all my mind could take … until … An outline lingered close to me, I sensed it's breath close by, I felt it's cold and clammy presence … spewed a frightened cry. My eyes flew open, there they were! These creatures of my fear, Awaiting my demise, they hovered intimately near; My mind screamed out in protest, "Don't give up and let them win!" "You've taken all you can, but now you "must" begin again!" I gathered all the strength I could, and rose from where I lay, Revitalized with energy that surged from far away; I stood and faced my fears head on, they backed away in shock, Renewed in sheer bewilderment … I turned my back and walked. I headed for the vast unknown, with purpose in my stride, I mustered all the faith I could, last vestiges of pride; I scanned the new horizon hoping I could find relief, And then, to my amazement and my utter disbelief … I saw with hazy vision, in the distance there appeared, The form of an oasis … rapt in faith, I persevered. /Kit McCallum |
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© Copyright 2001 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved | |||
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow Kit! Amazing poem of hope and faith, one of your best Take care, Melissa~ |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
This was absolutely amazing. I counted out every word as I went along in beat, and did not loose the rhythm once, what a fantastic job on this. Your story of course was excellent as well as our poetry. Well done! ~*~ I write, therefore I am ~*~ |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
WOW!! You blow me away.....this is such a great write and an awesome read! SEA |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow. What to say here? How long did this take to write Kit? I'm just curious - it's quite a work! And a work well done.. K [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 04-04-2001).] |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Always keep the faith, Kit. It will see you through anything. Wonderful write with great images. All writing comes |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
WOWOW!!! You never fail, Kit! You always deliver the goods in a way that is far and above simple excellence. This is truly excellent work here...... |
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wandering glider Senior Member
since 2001-04-04
Posts 501aloft |
Wonderful poem! Not unlike a Phoenix. Well told. |
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DreamLess Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 92 |
very lovely words , i enjoyed reading it. WRITTEN BY ME..(17 YRS HIGHSCHOOL GIRL) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Kit, I just read this one and re-read so many times and kept trying to compose a deserving reply... but I failed to come up with an equal... SO I just say this is amazing... Regards, Sudhir [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 04-05-2001).] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Melissa: Thanks Melissa, I really appreciate hearing from you ... I'm glad you enjoyed this piece! ~Mysteria: I loved to hear you counted the beats Mysteria! I enjoy it when the flow comes together well, thanks for these kind words! ~SEA: Your responses are always so appreciated SEA, thanks so much! ~Severn: Hmmm, I wrote the first half in the car on an envelope in about 20 minutes, then grabbed 20 minutes here and there to finish it up and fine-tune a bit. If I add up the bits and pieces, it probably took about 2-3 hours total Kamla. I'm glad you enjoyed, and thank you! ~Lone Wolf: I'm glad the imagery came across well Lone Wolf, funny but writing lately has made me want to pull out the paint brushes. I haven't done any oil on canvas in years. Thanks for the inspiration and lovely comment! ~Balladeer: I always love to hear your thoughts Michael ... thanks for such a glowing comment, and the wows. I'm afraid sometimes I "do" fail and lose the faith. I suppose that's why I write so many poems on finding it again ... I need to keep reminding myself when I'm down. Hugs to you for these thoughts sweet poet! ~Wandering Glider: I'm very appreciative Wandering Glider, thanks so much for this lovely comment, I'm so glad you saw the Phoenix in here! ~Dreamless: Thank you very much for the kind response Dreamless, it's wonderful to know you have read and enjoyed, very grateful! ~Sudhir: You composed a perfect reply Sudhir, and I am truly appreciative. Thanks so much for reading and re-reading ... I'm glad you enjoyed! Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Methinks we have a wonderful epic writer amongst us... This is superb, Kit... I enjoyed every word... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kit~ This is a wonderful piece of writing, as per your usual standards. Marvelous message of striving in spite of the odds. Come climb a mountain with me ! *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I didnt know Poe had such a wonderful smile Kit this is absolutely outstanding!!!!! perfect storyboard poetry ... the meter and cadence is dead on and this is a pure delight to read aloud... and the imagery and vocabulary are superb ... the dark egde of desperation and the search for the light were written to a poetic T ... and the perfect impact of ending in those summation rhymes. Excellent write here me dear... a classic piece of Kit-gator-poetry and thats is always a GOOD thing take a bow poetess, I'll applaud It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This one left me breathless... or perhaps I'm just in awe. *S* Either way... this is exceptional. *S* |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Kit, I just wish to add that I too found this poem spectacular... My goodness you leave this reader in feelings of overwhelm by the quality of your write and I compliment you sweetie as well I thank you for this fantastic read today... Hugs2uPoetFriend ~coco~ |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I wish i could say something that hasn't already been said, but then again you can never say that this poem is beautiful too many times. Thank you for such an inspirational read. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A ballad true...well done our Kit.... |
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Panne447 Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 196S.A. TX |
Kit, This was an excellent read. I am so glad I came in here. Thanks for sharing this ray of hope. Panne |
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