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Open Poetry #13

Quatrain

Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

0 posted 2001-04-02 11:43 PM

I sought out proof of human worth,
Upon this orb, we call our earth,
The answer lay, there all the while,
Within the joy, of small child's smile.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

1 posted 2001-04-02 11:46 PM

Oh yes! How true! Such beauty in few words!

Take care,
Melissa~

RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

2 posted 2001-04-03 12:15 PM

Mike...echoing what Melissa said. Plus...thanks. Bob

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

3 posted 2001-04-03 05:59 AM

yes, a child's smile.....how wonderful

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

CatLover
New Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 1

4 posted 2001-04-03 11:20 AM

Mike,
Very nice. And so true. I was wondering though why you didn't use "...a small child's smile.

I see the 8 count but the addition of the word 'a' makes a better read grammatically and the added syl is allowed occasionally - and though this isn't a long piece, I think that rules can apply here. Just my opinion. Give it a thought if you wish.

Anyway, I truly liked this and am so glad I cam ein to give it a look see. Cat

[This message has been edited by CatLover (edited 04-03-2001).]

Elizabeth