melting.....(cinquain) - pipTalk Forums

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Open Poetry #13

melting.....(cinquain)

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

0 posted 2001-03-31 03:43 PM

melting
in summer's heat
like ice cubes on concrete
I lose myself in small rivers
of sweat

"HEY, DON'T THROW THAT AWAY, I MIGHT NEED IT SOMEDAY!!!" Packratmike

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

1 posted 2001-03-31 04:01 PM

wonderful imaging here, Packratmike!!!

btw, sorry for misspelling your name earlier

Sometimes I wish I could better stand the heat so more of me could melt away.

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

2 posted 2001-03-31 04:21 PM

Thank you Vas.

btw...I didn't even notice until you mentioned it. LOL

Mike

Panne415
Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 104
San Antonio

3 posted 2001-04-01 05:57 AM

Mike, Excellent. Well done. Set us up and then handed us the twist- and it worked - I was surprised by your ending.
A definite keeper here. Panne

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2001-04-01 07:01 AM

Perfect cinquain..loved it!

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

2dalimit
Member Elite

since 2000-02-08

Posts 2228
Mississippi coast

5 posted 2001-04-01 08:51 AM

I like the imagery.
Melton

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