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Open Poetry #13
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Appealing to Your Senses---edited--Thank you, Packratmike!!!
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Appealing to Your Senses---edited--Thank you, Packratmike!!! |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Appealing to Your Senses Virginia Salter I’d love the words I weave to reach deep inside of you as deep as the deepest ocean and the most iridescent blue I’d love to touch your heart and wring out tears of glee or poignant, tempered feelings in the power of what you see I’d love to cause your actions benign or malignant to the max by the strength of what you’ve read by how I’ve stated facts Are these too grand of aspirations should I not aim my goals so high would it be better to only wish that what I’ve said should merely make you sigh? Oh, that is something that would give me joy as well if you should sigh from tenderness in my words that cast a spell or if a tear might leak from the corner of your eye and spill upon your page of life before my words should die ©March 30, 2000 [This message has been edited by VAS (edited 04-01-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Vas.....a very nice poem. "Oh, that is something that would give me joy as well if you should sigh from tenderness in my words that cast a spell or if a tear might leak from the corner of your eye and spill upon your page of life before my words should die" My feeling is that it should have stopped here. It had more of an impact on me at this point and the last two stanzas seemed pull me away from it. Or maybe even placing the last two stanzas before this??? I'm not sure, I just seems that the above quote is very powerful and deserves the final word. A wonderful read, nevertheless. Mike [This message has been edited by Packratmike (edited 03-31-2001).] |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
You know, Patratmike, I agree. That particular stanza is my favorite, too. Thank you for helping me see that it should be last. I do think I might omit those last two, but I need to take a peek at them again. |
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sans38 Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 117Westland, Michigan |
This was so beautiful! I loved it! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This has a sensual quality to it!! Kathleen Blake |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Thank YOU... VAS. Great job! "HEY, DON'T THROW THAT AWAY, I MIGHT NEED IT SOMEDAY!!!" Packratmike |
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