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Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

0 posted 2001-03-31 07:24 AM

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
I am a dreamer
But my dreams I don't share
I keep them so close to me
Needing them there

I am an island
You are the sea
I drown in your beauty
Your waves caressing me
How tranquil you are
As you glisten in the sun
Your tides ebb and flow
Out to sea they will go

Your beauty is unmatched
Nothing can compare
As couples walk along your shore
Drunk on love, without a care

As the moonlight blankets you
With its warm and yellow glow
So majestic and so unreal
The sound of the waves
Lapping at the lovers' feet
Who stand there toe to toe

From the water you do greet
As they start to caress
On the shore's warm sand
They melt together as one
And finally heaven is found

Suetang

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

1 posted 2001-04-01 01:41 AM

Sue,

This is so lovely. I'm amazed that it got no replies, but that sometimes happens. I love the sea. It's my favorite place to be. Such good work here. Thank you for sharing this.

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

Panne415
Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 104
San Antonio

2 posted 2001-04-01 06:21 AM

Sue, I particularly liked the first 2 stanzas - if you could keep this flow thru the rest of your piece you would have a masterpiece. Thanks for the read - I am glad I stopped by. Panne

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2001-04-01 06:28 AM

Hi there, I have to agree with Panne, the flow got off balance around the 2nd stanza if you can pick up the 2,4 rhyme you had you really have a wonderful piece here. If you will notice the lst and 2nd stanzas, the blue, you, share, there, and sea, me, and then it gets off track a bit. The content is simply stunning, and I sincerely hope you know I am no critic, but as we discussed we can help each other as we see them, "call them". Lovely work Suetang.

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

4 posted 2001-04-01 06:03 PM

Thank you so much for your comments and advice which was much appreciated. I agree, I went off track and actually hesitated in putting this one on. It was the second one of the poems I have written, of which I now have about 36. I appreciate your words.
Thank you......Sue

Suetang

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

5 posted 2001-04-02 08:53 PM

Sue, I also love the sea, so I love the idea of this one. Nice images you have created.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-04-02 09:39 PM

you are many things!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

[This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 04-02-2001).]

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

7 posted 2001-04-02 09:46 PM

Very romantic!

Corinne

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

8 posted 2001-04-03 12:29 PM

Dee
Thanks once again for your kind words...Sue

Irish Rose
Such a beautiful compliment you have afforded me...thank you......Sue

Corinne
I'm glad you enjoyed a trip to the sea...kind regards...Sue

Suetang

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