Open Poetry #13 |
A Big Thing |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
A Big Thing The train passes where back yards are scrambled with stacked wood and rusted discards. Children wave, barefoot in tangled weeds. The man in the house stops talking and holds up his hand mid sentence waiting for an empty space in sound to fill with his conversation. Down the road and over the fence the cow no longer looks up. Her methodical chewing jaw moves with the rhythm of the box car’s turn across the farmlands, and time is measured this way into the evenings of milking. In another place of city streets and yellow buses, the train whistles into a night empty of star’s glow, capturing the open window of a listening child. She had placed a penny just so as the afternoon choked her lungs, placed it on the tracks then knelt down and listened, her ear on the hot metal. She had run many blocks to the tracks so that now she could feel the way the penny flattened and melted from the weight of such a big thing, and in the knowledge is her own changing. As she listens her eyes become heavy, but it is not ‘til all is quiet again, that she smiles into sleep. In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 03-30-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A very big thing, indeed..... |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I can only hope that the 'very big thing' awakened her, and that somewhere she is walking 'round with that penny on a chain... well done--- Jamie |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Great work...I love trains. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You know I smiled right away in first stanza, as I have a very hard time remembering anything good about my childhood, but thank you - you made me remember the one thing I loved, and that was flattening money on the train tracks with my cousins. What a nice walk down memory lane! A wonderful, heartwarming poem , I love Martie's world! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Once upon a time ... you reached out and spun my memories just like this ... now, you've done it again. My favorite mode of transportation ... that train just keeps on moving ... I hope it never fades from the 'backyards' of childrens dreams. Thank you sweet, sweet lady. If you only knew the memories you touched ... you'd be real proud ! *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
we did this mid-city as pre-teens - a wonder we didn't get ourselves killed - thank you for the trip back |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
putting a penny on the tracks would have blown half of my allowance!!! I just love it when you send my mind back, Martie....and do it so well |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I like this a lot. I like to understand what I am reading and to see pictures in my mind with each sentence. You did this. Joyce |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Martie, Wonderfully picturesque little train story! And thanks for the smile you brought. Kraw' |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kailea--You should know...you were probably there. Jamie--She stayed up to here the sound that changed...and the penny was gone when she went back. JLR--Me too...and thanks. Sharon--I'm glad you enjoyed doing this too...I haven't known anyone who didn't. Marge--I am proud...to have you as a friend. Bill--You're not supposed to play chicken with the train, silly...glad this brough back some memories for you as well. Balladeer--If you haven't got a penny then a hay penny will do... Joyce--thank you for letting me know...I appreciate it. Krawdad---I think I can, I think I can...and thanks. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I lived far out in the country, miles from the nearest tracks... with a smaller allowance than Balladeer! *G* But that doesn't keep me from thoroughly enjoying this trip into your memory vault... beautiful! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
wonderful imagery and description in this one, Marge, the penny did it for me!!!! Kathleen Blake |
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Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
I dearly enjoy the narrative, lyrical style of writing. The memories flashed before my eyes. The Great Northern (now Burlington) RRWy went through our horse pasture. Thanks for the memories. "I am not now that which I have been." |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This brought back memories for me too...listening to the train pass by where I lived...listening to the train pass by where my grandparents lived, a bit north of us...same train...for some reason it sounded better in the suburbs where they lived (?) Thanks for the memories, Martie! |
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