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| Open Poetry #13 |
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poem |
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PoemCrazy Member
since 2000-11-30
Posts 159 |
Some-when between now and then, humanity choked on the apple. And went blind. Some-thought between syllogism and out-of-my-mind, i stumbled upon a truth. This is Eden. Some-if between philosophy and possibility, i asked a question. What happened? "i'm not crazy, if my made-up words have dashes" yeah right...tom |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Panne415 Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 104San Antonio |
Well PC, This started out great - I like the use of somewhen and someif - very good word play but I am not sure if all of this is part of the piece or if the piece ends with What happened? I think it should end with the question I am not sure what the last 2 lines have to do with the rest of the piece - if, indeed, they are part of the piece. Maybe you could show me. Thanks. I really liked this up to the What happened? Up to there it made sense from its nonsense and I thoroughly enjoyed how you crafted it. Panne |
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tradewind Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 101 |
well, i enjoyed the entire piece and it sorta made sense to me (maybe I'M crazy) an interesting write |
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