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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2001-05-17 07:22 PM

One Half....

Today is half, but lost to me,
These steps I take, reverse my will.
Eroding heart, to some degree,
Today is half, but lost to me.
The other half, is hard to see,
Eyes blocked by thoughts, with tears that spill.
Today is half, but lost to me,
These steps I take, reverse my will.

The Other Half...

I'll find my way, been lost before,
Have scaled the climb, when needed to.
Mind-battle fought, a tug of war,
I'll find my way, been lost before.
Will circumvent the reins that lure,
When day is done, I will pull through.
I'll find my way, been lost before,
Have scaled the climb, when needed to.

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (edited 05-17-2001).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-05-17 07:31 PM

I know how this feels........ this is excellent!

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

2 posted 2001-05-17 07:56 PM

I really like this!!!

Tough_Cookie
Junior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 13
USA

3 posted 2001-05-17 07:58 PM

Oh yes, this is excellent!
It's important to have two halves, it helps to keep a person well balanced.

I like the poem and love the message is states.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

4 posted 2001-05-17 08:10 PM

Very well expressed, Maureen! Great writing!

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-05-17 08:17 PM

what a relief, I thought this was a poem about toilets!

Ha ha,....just kidding, Maureen, I am not familiar with this form and I think it is
expressive and warm.......

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2001-05-17 08:20 PM

This is indeed an excellent form, you have woven it to my delight [for what do I know about form?] but that every line pulled me in yet a little tighter...till my smile came through...

I so enjoyed!

Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

7 posted 2001-05-17 10:06 PM

I think I have walked this same path. Very good read. I enjoyed it.
Alan

NapalmsConstantlyConfused

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 529

8 posted 2001-05-17 10:16 PM

nice use of form as a demonstration..... i'd like to see more like this.... and i can SO identify with having two sides to your personality

I Love The Smell Of Napalm In The AM!
"Why do i smell something burning?!?"
I Love The Smell Of Napalm In The AM!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

9 posted 2001-05-18 10:20 AM

thank you all for your kind words and thoughts and for reading what little I have to say

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II

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