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Open Poetry #13
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RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424


0 posted 2001-05-17 12:04 PM


Taking Care

If I come lightly to your heart,
As though a child
Upon the ice,
To pause
And kneel
And through your thin, cool surface
Feel
The pulse of winter;
If I can trust,
Will you not dare
A solemn promise
Not to break?

RMW

© Copyright 2001 RMW - All Rights Reserved
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
1 posted 2001-05-17 12:13 PM


oh how gingerly we may step when we deem much is at stake

read this twice, love the feel of it, got the message better the 2nd time, I think

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

2 posted 2001-05-17 09:25 AM


The innocence of this loves touches me...the style flows easily.
Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

3 posted 2001-05-17 09:33 AM


should thee feel
through the thin
a winter's beat
that lies within
would thou warm
this heart of mine
with but word lain
in a single line...


Excellent!

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2001-05-17 09:36 AM


very nice...so tender.....love the presentation of this....it adds so much to the feeling you portray  
RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

5 posted 2001-05-17 09:49 AM


Virginia...yes, indeed. Thank you. Bob

JLR...always a pleasure to read your thoughtful comments. Thank you. Bob

Decaflame....for taking a moment to "return verse"...thanks...that's nice.  Bob

Jellybeans.....it always feels a little special to read words of appreciation from you. Thank you.  Bob

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
6 posted 2001-05-17 02:48 PM


Taking care with that heart, Bob. Lovely work.

Corinne

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
7 posted 2001-05-18 05:09 PM


Bravo, Bob!  I love the symbolism you use!

Write on!

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
8 posted 2001-05-19 08:44 AM


Robere, this is beautiful!

~Tier

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2001-05-22 09:44 PM


Bob--this gave me goose bumps...not from the ice..but the fragile feel of a heart.  Wonderful!
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