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Open Poetry #13
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2001-05-15 09:03 AM


Mr. Tramp

At the genesis of the long kingly highway,
Mister Velocity is on a speedy move;
He has a will to run and belly on forest fire
As uninhibited as a drifter's desire.

And while the rhapsody of his vagabond soul
Is dancing fluidly with the flow of the breeze,
The mighty mass of his lazy flesh lays relaxed
Bathing under the sun of languid afternoons.

He wants horizons to change like baloney talks
As he warms a sense of wanderlust with itchy feet,
He wants to move against the sands of flowing time
And he wants to sail into open dreamfilled seas.

And once in a while he does not mind staggering
With thoughts of bygone nights and lost destinations.

(*!*)

© Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-05-15 09:10 AM


This is quite vivid, so vivid in fact, the next time I fix a baloney sandwich, I'm going to wait for it to say something to me!!!!

  I enjoyed this, Sudhir.....

Kathleen

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
2 posted 2001-05-15 10:52 AM


Sudhir,

I enjoyed reading your posting. I identify with the following:

"And while the rhapsody of his vagabond soul
Is dancing fluidly with the flow of the breeze,
The mighty mass of his lazy flesh lays relaxed
Bathing under the sun of languid afternoons."

While not a tramp, I have spent my share of afternoons under a shade tree, with a beer, thinking great thoughts.  Well written!

INclan

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
3 posted 2001-05-16 05:15 AM


Kathleen, Thank you so much for coming by ...

INclan, I do appreciate your visit and comments very much ... many thanks

Regards to all,
Sudhir

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
4 posted 2001-05-16 05:08 PM


Once  you got going this one really took off Sudhir... At first I thought it was a bit rich with adjectives but as you progressed these leaned out nicely...   enjoyed it!

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2001-05-16 08:24 PM


The mighty mass of his lazy flesh lays relaxed...

that paints a real picture, sudhir...think I'll go over to the gym in the morning!  

good writing....

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2001-05-17 10:58 AM


Jamie, thank you for reading and your fine assessment... Much appreciated, my friend

Sir Balladeer, thanks so much for coming by, adn am glad that you liked it... going to the gym, eh?  

regards,
sudhir

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2001-05-17 12:08 PM


Sudhir,
Enjoyed this and think it's good enough for another go round. Sy

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2001-05-17 05:16 PM


And while the rhapsody of his vagabond soul
Is dancing fluidly with the flow of the breeze,
The mighty mass of his lazy flesh lays relaxed
Bathing under the sun of languid afternoons.

He wants horizons to change like baloney talks
As he warms a sense of wanderlust with itchy feet,
He wants to move against the sands of flowing time
And he wants to sail into open dreamfilled seas.
====================
this is a VERY COOL write Sud...
the imagery and theme is clever and so unique.
very well done poet brilliant  
jm

tis never easy being a moth,
tis not easy being the flame.
what some never see is--
sometimes ... most times ...
they are one in the same.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2001-05-17 10:21 PM


Sudhir~
I like my friends - a little on the trampy side ...

'As uninhibited as a drifter's desire.'

'And once in a while he does not mind staggering
With thoughts of bygone nights and lost destinations.'


How vividly refreshing are your phrases.
This made for a delightful read, my friend.

*Hope you are well and happy.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                               noles1@totcon.com             

Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
10 posted 2001-05-18 12:42 PM


As always, I do enjoy your work.  
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
11 posted 2001-05-18 04:47 AM


Seymour, my friend, thanks for coming by and I am glad that you enjoyed this one

Janet, the BRILLIANT one speaks... thank you very much

Marge, in one way, being a tramp is being able to move, isnt' it? Thanks, my friend, and I am glad to have delighted you...

Eloise, thank you so much, I do enjoy seeing your name here...

Regards to all,
Sudhir

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