My Aunt Who Stuttered - pipTalk Forums

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RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

0 posted 2001-03-28 03:15 PM

My Aunt Who Stuttered

Early,
As the camp slept;
When the tiny hatchet
That my father's well-meant strength
Had sunk safely deep
Into an old, pine stump,
Encouraging introspection;
My youngest aunt,
Who's shape
My glance the day before had frozen
Changing clothes inside her tent,
Unzipped
And stepped tentatively
As a large-eyed doe testing a meadow.
Instantly my head dropped
And my face flushed enough heat to ignite
The cones and tinder at my feet. Gratefully,
Flames leapt giving me something to stare at.
She coughed, and settled into the twin
Of the aluminum lawn chair
Wobbling levity at our predicament.
There we sat, perched precariously
On uneven ground on opposite sides
Of the fire pit.
For a time smoke helped us evade
Looking at each other. Then,
Although she was older,
I broke the silence
By commenting on how the trout were feeding.
She smiled briefly until an osprey screeched
And for its breakfast reached
Sharp talons. She gasped.
Then, as I watched her dimples
Recede into what some even then considered
Stayed timidity, my thoughts leaned back
Towards her shadowed look
On the other side of the mosquito netting.
Slight, yet more than a little
Jut of breasts
Which, through years of hugs
At family birthdays and Christmas
I'd come to know as though a voice
Pressing close to whisper of a past secret;
A narrow waste;
And hips that argued nonchalance
On long, firm legs
In eloquent defiance.

RMW

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

1 posted 2001-03-28 03:21 PM

Wonderful work, Bob. Great imagery and sense of connection between you two.

Only thing I might change is the title, think it deserves something...more fitting her elegance maybe?

Corinne

RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

2 posted 2001-03-28 03:27 PM

Corinne....Thank you....and that's a thought. I appreciate it. "BILL"

PS (see comments under "Beach Combing With a Friend". PPS "FOX"....F....O....X!

helen smith
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 240

3 posted 2001-03-28 05:26 PM

I loved every word have read it many times now ..in awe of your skill and must tell you ..

Just A Woman
Senior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 507

4 posted 2001-03-28 05:41 PM

I wish I could express how much I enjoy your writing. This has to be one of my favorites of yours. Is new, Bob?

*Indiana Applauds!*

"Often the test of courage is not to die but to live"

~Vittorio Alferi~

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2001-03-28 06:35 PM

RMW--this is wonderful! Done with such charm, the play between the two characters, perfect...it was like watching something personal, yet, I couldn't look away.

RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

6 posted 2001-03-29 03:45 PM

Helen, Just A Woman, and Martie...thank you very much. I confess to liking this a little more each time I pull it out. Bob

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