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Open Poetry #13
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No Swimming
| Open Poetry #13 |
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No Swimming |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada 
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"No Swimming" He sat upon his wooden porch, with lemonade in hand, A weathered, aging farmer, looking out upon his land; His skin was wrinkled, deep and brown; his overalls were worn, The hat of straw tipped somewhat to the side, was slightly torn. He raised the glass toward his lips, and pondered for a spell, And grimaced at the bitter taste he'd come to know so well; No, life had not been kind to him, alone he languished there, Once filled with joy and happiness, he'd lost the will to care. With calloused hands that matched his heart, he brushed a fly away, And surveyed his surroundings, for the porch was in decay; He swayed upon the creaking swing he once had built with pride, A present to his loving wife, when she became his bride. He let his mind drift swiftly back for just a moment then, Their courtship was a whirlwind, he … the envy of all men; She was a beauty through and through, his heart had overflowed, The day they sat beside the swimming hole and he proposed. His father had allowed the town to gather at this pond, A tranquil place of joy and peace just past his woods beyond; And so it was the perfect place, so many people came, To celebrate the couple there, as she took on his name. They started out their wedded bliss, no closer could they be, Until one fateful day arrived that he could not conceive; The morning that his wife gave birth, a complication grew, His wife and son were lost that day ... he simply then withdrew. The dreams they shared, his love of life had died that tragic day, He buried them beside the pond, tucked mem'ries far away; He posted signs, "No Swimming" and he closed it to the town, And chased away those few who dared defy his sacred ground. He blamed the doctor, blamed the Gods, he blamed most everything, And dwelled in all that bitterness, each day upon his swing; Quite suddenly, he braced his feet, and listened with intent, The sounds of distant laughter drifted through the wind's torment. He jumped up, sent the lemonade careening to the floor, And grabbed his pitchfork as he ran toward the pond once more; His sign had been enough to drive so many on their way, But still he fought with children who would dare to come and play. He neared the pond, and stopped behind the giant maple there, He chose to sneak up quietly, and give them quite a scare; But as he peeked around the trunk, he gasped in disbelief, He swore he looked into the past, he could not even speak. A young man with his back to him, was kneeling on the ground, In front of him, a lovely girl stood blushing looking down; She had an air of beauty, and a smile that brightly beamed, He hesitated, frozen there, like looking through a dream. He heard the words reverberate and echo off the pond, The man had uttered "Marry me …", she waited to respond; She shyly nodded up and down, then broke into a smile, As giddily, the man jumped up and lifted her in style. He twirled her round about the bank … he tripped, and they fell in, Then rose above their laughter as they kissed and smiled and grinned; He whistled and cavorted, yelling loud and proud and free, Unknown that they were being watched beyond the maple tree. The farmer hidden by the trunk, looked on in reminisce, Remembering the love he knew, the sweetness of a kiss; He felt a teardrop slowly fall, the first he'd ever shown, So many years had past and only anger had he known. He watched the couple as they climbed out of the swimming hole, And heard the woman chatter in excitement, loud and full … "Oh please ... I'd love to marry you, right here along the shore!" "But dare we ask permission to?" she quietly implored. "Let's go!" He said and took her hand, "For maybe if we ask," "He'll join us as our guest!" He smiled, and urged her down the path; The farmer watched them drift along the lane toward his home, Then wandered to his sign that said "No Swimming" was condoned. With pitchfork still in hand, he raised it up and scratched out "No" … Then rushed to make it home before his guests would ever know. /Kit McCallum [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 05-08-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
We're the product of our experiences... for sure... This poor old guy need to dive in and swim in that pond early on... Once he was out of practice, there was no convincing him that he could actually still swim, I guess... Sometimes we just don't learn the lessons we're intended for... This is great, Kit... Nice one indeed...  |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Wonderful story. Joyce |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Kit, If this is the only poem I get to read this day or even week it was so absolutely wonderful, I have to say I just love your poetry so very much I always know that when I see your name I am in for a real treat, thank you so very much. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kit--Fantastic story...brought a tear to my eye and a smile. Thank you for this! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kit~ My goodness ... I got goosebumps on my goosebumps with this one. How deftly you carried the story along ... Tenderly portrayed. You are just the BEST at these nostalgic renders ! ! Marvelous enjoyment. Is there a cure for goosebumps ?  *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Kit, so glad I read this. So glad you wrote and posted. It's wonderful. *Peace. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I'm so glad I guessed not the length of this, as I must be going on my walk, and I would not have read it. It would definitely have been my great loss. It carried me all the way so lightly and so quick, each word pulled me forward. What a wonderful story. Of course, I do wish we could have learned what happened next, but I think that you really wished to leave us with hope and anticipation and knowing that he again held these things in his heart. Wonderful, Kit, absolutely! The rhyme scheme holds throughout but does not detract from the message and the flavor. WEll done! |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
What a beautiful story, Kit, I really loved reading it! bravo! -Tier |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Kit, you beautiful beautiful poet... You have to know I would love this one! Everything about it is perfection...to mold such a tender story into such perfect form is a gift....one you have an abundance of..wonderful |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
it's wonderful poetry, Kit, congratulations! This should be in a book! Kathleen Blake |
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Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
This should definitely be the center piece within a leather bound book. Absolutely fantastic. I was there...and it reminded me of Walden's Pond. "I am not now that which I have been." |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
WOW KIT... touching...great I enjoyed this one a ton!! and tell me if you think that this critique was on the gentle side..LOL *Jeff Baker* |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
A wonderful write by the "master-story teller". I was captured by each word. Great flow. Melton |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Kit, This is masterfully written... Thanks for the read, Regards, Sudhir |
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painted lady Junior Member
since 2001-04-01
Posts 48on the wing or nectaring |
wonderful story-telling, Kit. you do this so well . . . And then my heart with pleasure fills, |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
A truly heart warming story, and one not often enough heard. The "change of heart" is the most honest heart of all, and your writing of it was beyond superb Kit! You held me spellbound right to the very end. Each story is getting better than the last, do you take requests? How about one about attic treasures found? he he (pushing my luck?) ~*~ I write ~ Therefore I am ~*~ |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
this is such a sweet & tender poem.......helen |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Nan: LOL, someone should have pushed him in a few years back maybe. I guess part of the message is we're never too old to learn though, thanks for the great comment Nan! ~Joyce: Thanks for enjoying Joyce, I'm very appreciative! ~Cerenity: That is one of the sweetest replies Cerenity ... you have me smiling from ear to ear ... thank you sooooo much for this lovely response! ~Martie: I'm happy to do it for you Martie, it's nice to know it brought "both", thank you! ~Marge: Now giving someone goosebumps has to be one of the most wonderful things to hear ... thank you Marge! (but I don't have a cure, LOL) ~Spitfire: And I'm so glad you enjoyed it Spitfire, many thanks to you for these kind words! ~Virginia: Thanks you so very much for all these wonderful thoughts Virginia, and thank you for not shying away from these "long" ones. I fear I can definately get rather lengthy at times and worry about that, so it is that much more wonderful to hear that you enjoyed it as you did ... thank you! ~Tiersdin: Thanks so much for the lovely bravo Tier, I am very grateful you liked the story! ~Balladeer: To know that you have enjoyed it to this degree, means a great deal to me Michael ... I thank you for these warm and sweet sentiments. You are a treasure. ~Kathleen: Thanks so much Kathleen! What a wonderful comment to read, I'm very grateful that you enjoyed this! ~Julian: Oh, thanks so much Julan, what a lovely thing to say, many thank yous! ~Jeff: LOL, that was perfectly gentle, Jeff ... and I enjoyed every word of it ... thank you!  ~Melton: Thank you so much for these wonderful words Melton, I'm very grateful it was entertaining! ~Sudhir: I must say, it's wonderful to see you here again Sudhir ... I've missed your "regards". Thank you dear friend. ~Painted Lady: Thank you so very much Painted Lady, I'm very appreciative that you enjoyed this piece! ~Mysteria: I actually have done requests over the years, LOL. I've not done one about attic treasures myself as yet, but I hope you don't mind if I wait though? I read some beautiful renditions from a few poets here not too long ago on this theme, and their words are still echoing sweetly. I'm really glad you enjoyed this one Mysteria, many thanks for these kind words. ~Helen: Thank you so very much Helen, I'm grateful you found this piece entertaining, many thanks to you for the kind words. Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Kit..I read this weave divine from you last night, but got a phone call before I could reply... but that gave me an excuse to come back and take in this tender render again... what a wonderful story teller you are... I was wondering while reading if you dabble in fiction or prose at all? And as always with your work... the perfection of cadence that you are able to maintain during a longer write is always impressive... this is a sincere and wisdom kissed poetic epic from you!! Way to go girlie-gator  me"Nature's first green is gold, |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Wonderful story! You know just how to hold the reader Now that the swimming hole is open again Care for a dip? |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Insect: Thanks so much for the kind words "and" the invitation Insect, let's hope the water's warm! I'm really glad you enjoyed, much appreciated! ~Janet Marie: Thank you for all these wonderful ponderings and kind words JM, they always mean so much to me. I have dabbled in fiction/prose in the past. I even started writing a novel (fiction) about 8 years ago. I wrote a few chapters while I was off sick for a few months, then got back to work and never did anything further with it. I found the chapters when I was cleaning out to move last year and saved them. They were typed on a manual typewriter, LOL! Thanks again for the sweet thoughts JM! Much appreciation to you both, /Kit [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 05-09-2001).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
What a great story... and you told it with your usual perfection. *S* |
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