….and the winner is Leave Without Pay

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jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

0 posted 2001-05-04 10:10 AM

...and the winner is Leave Without Pay

I can’t go home,
This check, and
all my checks for the next thirty years
are already spent...
I can’t go home.
I don’t have any leave left.
I can’t go home.
But I can’t stay,
I can’t even function.
I don’t even know what day it is.
I can’t stay.
My eyes are overfull,
keeping them open
is more than I can take.
I can’t stay.

Someone else’s hands must be
on the wheel.
I feel like a passenger
in the driver’s seat.
The taillights hypnotize.
Familiarity, my only guide,
I turn toward home
with an aching need
for solitude-
no interaction
nothing required
just my pillow
and me.

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (edited 05-04-2001).]

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

1 posted 2001-05-04 10:15 AM

My sentiments exactly today jellybeans. I wanna grab the pillow, sleep, and hope tomorrow the sun feels just a little warmer and the day is just a little brighter. Here's hoping for both of us!! *s*

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

2 posted 2001-05-04 10:44 AM

Jellybeans...."..an aching need for solitude.." My. I remember a phrase expressed by a merchant seaman...."..the sea drives you ashore, and the shore drives you back again." Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece. Bob

Mother_Earth
Senior Member

since 2000-11-20

Posts 1370
1/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan

3 posted 2001-05-04 11:11 AM

jellybeans, please, please be sure you know who is in the drivers seat on the drive home!!! After that, you can quietly collapse. I know the feelings though. You said it well. ME

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

4 posted 2001-05-04 11:27 AM

So terribly well-written, jellybeans! My heart goes out to you, my prayers are for your safety and recuperation, not to mention security in many facets. Now snuggle that pillow and play soft music.

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

5 posted 2001-05-04 11:57 AM

thank you all so much...I posted this, with the feeling that it was drastically lacking, but I just don't have the mental ability to edit it...thank you again

for your comments, your prayers and your warm wishes

helen smith
Member

since 2001-03-12

Posts 240

6 posted 2001-05-04 06:27 PM

I agree VAS so very well written... fabulous in fact

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

7 posted 2001-05-04 08:24 PM

Hope you are well...

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA

8 posted 2001-05-04 08:28 PM

There's a point, and sounds like you've reached it, where no amount of willing yourself awake will make it so. Be careful.

"I am not now that which I have been."

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

9 posted 2001-05-04 08:32 PM

Yep, yep, yep! SAID it PERFECTLY!

jwesley

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

10 posted 2001-05-07 03:25 PM

thanks all...a weekend of sleep has improved my outlook and it sure is nice to see poet friends wishing well for me

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

11 posted 2001-05-09 11:41 AM

The desperation and overload are so very well written... so glad that driver (whoever it was *S*) got you home safely. *S*

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