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Open Poetry #13
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vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA

0 posted 2001-05-02 05:57 PM


        Blue skies turn Into grey,
         Morning grey skies,
          The clouds roll by,
         Suddenly rain came by,

    

[This message has been edited by vandana (edited 05-02-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 vandana - All Rights Reserved
Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
1 posted 2001-05-02 06:04 PM


Hello my friend. . .  

these are really great words. . . but, haiku follow a form of three lines. . . the first line has 5 syllables, the second line has 7 syllables, and the third line also has five syllables. . .

I have a feeling that when you're writing these, you're not writing them in English. . . perhaps you should translate them before you post them, and count the syllables that way. . . if you'd like, I can help you with understanding this a little better. . . and so can any of our other poets as well. . .  

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To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2001-05-02 06:13 PM


Pretty words, even thught not quite true to the Haiku form.  Joyce
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
3 posted 2001-05-02 08:30 PM


Well, I can't offer any info about the Haiku part, but this certainly was beautiful anyway.   I love it when the rain comes by!  

still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d
I am bound by this, you see...to become Night's sole mistress, and I am jealous in my endeavours for his attention.

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