hot chocolate and skies of peace

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desperado
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx

0 posted 2001-04-30 04:05 AM

cowboys and boots with shadows of wrong
wonderful thoughts for an old western song
echoes and gunshots both too close to call
a life without horses ain't no life at all
warm summer nights with stars in the sky
cups of hot chocolate and a womans sigh
feeling at peace with the world all around
and silence so sweet you hear every sound

something to me and yet nothing to you
these are some things that I love to do

singing songs with no melodies or notes
reading books to find hidden quotes
watching great movies to pass out my day
writting some words of things that I'd say
sharing a few to see what's the cost
learning a few things to see what I've lost
laughing out loud for no reason you see
grinning at the world because I choose to be me
call me crazy, call me strange
I feel at home out on the range
where the silence is awesome and soft in my ears
and there is nothing around you worthy of fears
it's a taste of peace and love
the difference is, it comes from above

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. --Soren Kierkegaard

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

1 posted 2001-04-30 04:27 AM

Enjoyed reading your poem...James

Ethan Halo
Senior Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 793
on the roof again

2 posted 2001-04-30 09:57 AM

beautiful images... the rhythm stumbles a couple of times, but a wonderful read nonetheless...

it kinda makes me feel like i'm missin out, being a city boy.

"and silence so sweet you hear every sound"
there's somethin you can't get behind the city walls... i love that line.

"Many great relationships start or end in a bar.
Some of the best do both in the course of an evening."

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

3 posted 2001-04-30 02:39 PM

Absolutely wonderful. No, serious. Sounds trite, but I swear I'm being honest.

This reminds me of home...thanks for bringing me back.

latin passion
Senior Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 576

4 posted 2001-04-30 03:24 PM

from the plains I did roam, with parrie dogs pleading with a orange sunset backdrop. Thanks for making me reflect to what I call home. LP

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

5 posted 2001-04-30 08:05 PM

Des,
This is just excellent.

Nothing like being in a place we feel comfortable.

Loved this muchly.

*Jenn*

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

6 posted 2001-04-30 09:25 PM

I like this a lot. Thanks.
Sandra

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

7 posted 2001-04-30 09:31 PM

Sounds as though you have your priorities straight. Nice poem. Joyce

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

8 posted 2001-05-01 12:53 PM

Des~
This is just a wonderful reflection of sincerity.

Enjoyed it very much.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

9 posted 2001-05-01 07:39 PM

is there anything better??

excellent. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

DawnG

Senior Member

since 2000-06-23

Posts 1494
United States

10 posted 2001-05-01 08:00 PM

Desperado,

I read this poem and just went Wow! I live in the country on a farm and enjoy the solitude of the area. I admit at times it can get old, but there is nothing like a evening by a warm fire in the country. Thanks for sharing.

Dawn

desperado
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx

11 posted 2001-05-02 03:05 AM

well I would like to thank every one for replying to this poem. I've always love camping out and going backpacking, so this was something I enjoyed. perhaps the hardest part was trying to write it like I wanted to instead of to the rhythm of the song stuck in my head. the rhythm clashed several times because of that. things are going good right now. busy writting a story for the prose section as well. kinda spreading out a little more than I used to. have a few ideas for other things that I'm fixing up to be posted. once again, thanks for the input.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. --Soren Kierkegaard

Saxoness

Senior Member

since 1999-07-18

Posts 1102
Texas

12 posted 2001-05-02 10:43 PM

Well, looks like I arrived a little late to the party. I usually try to get in here and respond pretty quickly to stuff, but can't catch them all I suppose.

It would be very hard for me to eidt or critique this poem, because of the subject matter. This is HOME!! No better place on earth to hang your hat. You captured it great, although i'd change the womans sigh thing to fit me, like a strong arm around you or something. Other than that, bravo.
Can't wait to be there.

"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

13 posted 2001-05-03 12:28 PM

So Desperado, it sounds like you're missing home.  I'm guessing you're in the service.  Which one?  How long are you to be in Seoul?

With Memorial Day coming, I'm thinking you could do a bang up job on a poem for it.  Would you be willing to accept that challenge?

You certainly did a nice job on this one.  As a teacher, I saw the word writing accidentally had two t's in it, I also noticed you didn't spell it that way in your critque request so I know it was only a typo.  To find any other flaw, you'll have as me, or someone else to try harder.  I enjoyed the read.

That's what I get for going back, you need an apostrophe in "woman(')s sigh."  There's my both barrels

[This message has been edited by VAS (edited 05-03-2001).]

desperado
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx

14 posted 2001-05-03 11:30 PM

VAS -

thanks.  I didn't even notice that when I wrote it.  those darn apostrophies, always hanging around where you least expect them to be....  '   ''  hehe

oh and a poem for memorial day??  hmmm I'll have to get started on that then.  knowing my luck if I wait till next week, it'll take a month to finish.

oh, and yes, I am in the army.  I was supposed to leave here the 13th of may, but I've been extended for a brief period of 6 weeks, partially because I'm in an nco slot and my replacement won't be here for a few more weeks.  Therefore, I have been dubbed "mission essential," big words for "we don't want you to go cause you know too much."  Either that or "we're too lazy to get a different replacement for you."  Take your pick.

So it looks like I won't be going home till 4th of july, which is a good thing because my car will certainly be ready by then and I can afford a road trip, or two, to dallas and grueene, tx to go dancing at one of the oldest dance halls in tx (and one of the wildest places to party too, but that's beside the point).

thanks

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. --Soren Kierkegaard

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