Open Poetry #13 |
Silent Sad Cry |
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Should I infuse into your dying deep roots A change to your feelings deep inside for me Maybe the ink gumming up in its waste Maybe a life, overflowing distaste But there is something I cannot fathom Something I would like to outshine Maybe it?s love, I cannot define Maybe it?s Luna in silent sad cry When I could not know what I wanted to be I mused up a pen and wrote you a song You didn?t care much, so I threw it away I?ve been searching and will find it someday The kinks in my heart are the rhythm and beat And you are the Valium that rocks me to sleep If I die will I know, the words to this song Will it change my life that I sung them so wrong After seasons of doubt and withered withouts I come calling to see my flower is dead I revive her with words sprinkled from head Her heart heaves and sighs, crestfallen, instead My paper is fading and the ink is a river The rain still falling and the banks over flooding Whisper the words to your song you have found And plant my feet further in the goodnight of ground Defibrillate my need for your rasping breath To exhale down my neck and take away death If the words could be heard by all of the world Would we be anymore dead than we already are There?s a beat in my heart and words to be sung I?m a one-man band and I play this for you Trumpet these words and sing them so loud I?m in love with you and I?m proud [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 05-01-2001).] |
||
© Copyright 2001 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
You do better with each word you write, my friend. Be well. I enjoyed this. |
||
JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Incredible! THIS I understand and you wrote it, again...incredibly! the valium that rocks me to sleep...now why didn't i think of that? |
||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
A beautiful love poem. Joyce |
||
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Like I said before: amazingly good writing Walty.. K |
||
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Who likes the Velvet Underground? |
||
inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Walt, who the heck are the "Velvet Underground"? |
||
cruz Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282Dallas,Texas USA |
Hey Walt, this one consumes me! "Valium that rocks me to sleep," is tranquillity. It seems as though you kinda wanna put the reader to sleep and then, BLAM!, wake 'em up with the trumpeting sound of "I'm in love with you and I'm proud." I pray that your "stuff" is contagious and I get bitten by the poetry bug. Grateright! |
||
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wahooo Walty, I love this. and these lines.... "And you are the Valium that rocks me to sleep" "After seasons of doubt and withered withouts I come calling to see my flower is dead" "goodnight of ground" Great lines my friend great writing oh yuhhhh Maree |
||
elisaseyes Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196fort worth texas |
Walter, everything you write is important to me. This is a heart breaking piece. it makes me feel much compassion for you. |
||
Mabel A. Dilley Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859Seattle, WA, USA |
Poignant, soft as a hammer wrapped inside a velvet glove and simply superb writing. "I am not now that which I have been." |
||
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
wow, the metaphors, the phrasing, this blows me away, and yep I agree, you just keep getting better with your writing |
||
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
One of your best, one of your very best Kathleen Blake |
||
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thnak yo uguys you are all my motivation |
||
latin passion Senior Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 576 |
"the flower doesn't wither." I loved the last line - power punch! As someone dear to me would say...ur gr8. LP |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |