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Open Poetry #13
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Offstage.....alone
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Offstage.....alone |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I think the ink is running dry I think my heart is empty--bled- cavernous echoed thoughts sheets of ice to line my bed. No passion's pulsing, quickening-- no melodic trace of sing. Nothing left but swell of sting... the nothingness of everything. I should have known and seen it coming- should have recognized the cunning-- it's not like I'm a little girl... (Oh I can take on all the world!) "I'm so tough. I am so strong." Offstage, alone, I sing that song. Searching ever patch of clover, in hopes of find-the four-leafed lover, braiding flowers in my hair conversing with the "you"--not there. I thought I'd thought of everything. This picnic that I'd packed for King... and yes, I DID bring everything--- with only just one thoughtless thought- eager, I do as I ought; I'd forgotten space for you no room for you to love me too. [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 04-24-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
oman i like this and the four-leafed lover thing i will never forget yuh |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Such an important ingredient for your picnic and you forgot. Good rading. Joyce |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*sigh........you're writing about me huh? I loved this one.... |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
"no room for you to love me too" Yes, a most important ingredient to be sure. Good writing! Michael Proust- |
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Tessa Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 67Ohio |
This is wonderful....You've a uniqueness to your writing that's just wonderful. "conversing with the "you" - not there" Excellent! I enjoyed this. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Searching ever patch of clover, in hopes of find-the four-leafed lover, braiding flowers in my hair conversing with the "you"--not there. This is beautiful in it's sadness m'dear Maree |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
next time forget the picante sauce instead... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ This is wonderfully written - so emotive~ 'Searching ever patch of clover, in hopes of find-the four-leafed lover, braiding flowers in my hair conversing with the "you"--not there.' Yep ... guess that makes it unanimous - this one's a keeper. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
echoed thoughts sheets of ice to line my bed. ================ Nothing left but swell of sting... the nothingness of everything. I should have known and seen it coming- should have recognized the cunning-- =================== Searching ever patch of clover, in hopes of find-the four-leafed lover, braiding flowers in my hair conversing with the "you"--not there. I thought I'd thought of everything. This picnic that I'd packed for King... and yes, I DID bring everything--- with only just one thoughtless thought- eager, I do as I ought; I'd forgotten space for you no room for you to love me too. =================== *sigh* ... I could rave about the very clever way you worked those rhymes and metaphors... but this one--just aches so...to critique seems uncalled for.. I felt every line me twin.. hugs baby  meThough my soul may sit in darkness, |
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