»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #13
»
Stir
| Open Poetry #13 |
|
Stir |
|
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
|
I am a shadow drowning in the flow of your eyes struggling to stay afloat the golden ripples of your gaze indifferent gently I wavered like a leaf into your green beginning becoming light burning with life a sudden burst of orange but through the rush of your fleeting all dry and fleeing like Autumn my glistening happened to blacken and I faced the darkness of wintered days without you beloved and without you in this blur of life I will stir the flow of your eyes |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maree--Sad poem...you are bright though, girl...not dark....I'd turn off the fire under that pot of green eyes. This is a very well expressed emotive writing. |
||
|
Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
My kind of poem....filled with colors, emotion and terrific flowing words. A very nice read aloud work. Liked it very much. Mike |
||
|
cruz Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282Dallas,Texas USA |
a lot said in such a short poem. i like how it starts off sad, then there is a sign of life in light. but it seems as though it goes downhill from there; in the depth of the sadness. some awesome feeling here. nice work cruz |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hugs Baby Roo... I've already said what I think about this ...suffice to say - it's MARVELLOUS. Love ya  TiggerKAll obscurity starts with a danger: |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is so sad, but beautiful as only you can write--a poignant piece here, my sista! I loved the imagery of season's and the symbolic colors. Quite remarkable.  |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Satpsyche Mmy--- good to have you back... There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
WOW DA i like the flow and the words stirred me for sure |
||
|
coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Stir, and the reflection is pulled beneath the whirlpool. This is a very beautiful poem, with an almost hypnotic flow, and a haunting touch of fatalistic sadness to it, Maree. I loved it, as usual an excellent work. "The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty." |
||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
This is beyond my words. I loved it, and welcome back. still d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-e-d |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thank you all so very much for your lovely replies and for taking the time to stop by and read Maree |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You create such lovely poetry with such simple words. How, I don't know. That's why I'm trying to bug Kamla to help me out a bit  Maybe, I'll bug you too Though sad in it's nature, this poem has given me a lot of inspiration, not only to write, but to become better with my writing. Thanks so much for giving me the chance to read your work.acire "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. [This message has been edited by acire (edited 04-25-2001).] |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed the life and energy in this poem...James |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
See what I found!!! A beautiful poem written by a lovely person.... I've missed reading you!  |
||
|
Coal Surrender Member
since 2001-04-01
Posts 84U.S. |
This is grand, from beginning to end. You tweak the heart, ardently! Coal |
||
|
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Good read, thank you Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Good to see your muse is working again, it was only resting for more of these!! I loved this, it had a meloncholy feel to it. |
||
|
Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Wow *M* this is such a beautiful piece of your beautiful words - so deep, melancholic and serene coloured with emotion! Well done! The quality and depth of your work never ceases to surprise and amaze! Jen! |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Acire, thanks so much for your lovely words and compliment Oh and you may bug me anytime James Michael, thank you so very much, glad you liked Aawwww Thank you so much Sharon for your lovely reply Coal Surrender, I tweak the heart? That is nice to know Thank you. Interloper, Thank you and you're welcome Irish Rose, Thanks so much hon, yes my muse did rest for a while but it looks as though she wants more hehe. Hey J, thanks so much for your lovely reply hon. And for coming in to have a read Thank you all so very much for your lovely replies and compliments. Maree |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
O Maree, This is such a marvellous write... Thanks for sharing... Regards, sudhir |
||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Read again..Loved again..perhaps even more than the first time. |
||
|
Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
maree-- you already know what i had to say about this...just simply beautiful my sweet friend!! loved this, i do. take care amy "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
